


Home is Where the Heart is

by TraycSedai



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-06-05 17:47:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6714850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TraycSedai/pseuds/TraycSedai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Its been more than two years since Sigrid's heart was shattered irreparably.  Now, she's attempting to put her life back together with the help of family and friends...</p><p>Fili, a successful attorney, has a life anyone would envy.  He has a beautiful wife, a wonderful son and his dream job with a large law firm in the big city; that is, until it all starts to fall down around him...</p><p>Kili and Tauriel?  Maybe they just need to have their thick heads smashed together to see what's right in front of them...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Ouch!" shouted Sigrid.  As if getting up at 5 o'clock in the morning wasn't bad enough, she had just whacked her arm on the night table while trying unsuccessfully to turn off the damned alarm clock.   

As she lay there, she let her mind wander back over the nightmares that had plagued her dreams the night before.  It was the same one that had been haunting her for more than two years now.  Surely she deserved to let go eventually… _right_?  Her subconscious seemed to be telling her otherwise.  Every night she feared closing her eyes…

… _Finn is snoring.  Sigrid’s eyes are closed, but she smiles at this because it means he has just recently come to bed; he must have been up late working again.  She rolls over to look at him. Valar…he is handsome; thick, dark brown hair, rosy cheeks and just the hint of a smile across his lips.  She runs her fingers over his forehead and down his shoulder.  He stirs just so.  She doesn't want to wake him so she stops.  She leans in to kiss his forehead..._

Before her lips can reach him, however, the scene always changes and Sigrid finds herself on the street, looking over her beloved on the ground, bleeding…dying…

As usual, Sigrid had woken up in a sweat, reaching for the alarm clock that has started to go off; knowing that the nightmare was real. 

As she rubbed her arm at the spot she knew would have a lovely bruise later, she looked over at the empty half of her bed; Finn's side…empty for the last two years, five months and six days.  _No…that was yesterday.  Today makes seven…two years, five months and seven days_.  She sighed and with great effort, hauled herself out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

 ***

A few houses down, Sigrid’s best friend Tauriel Sylvan was attempting to make her way into the shower, but had gotten distracted by her aunt, who felt there was nothing like Yoga in the morning to get the blood pumping. 

 "Aunt! Be careful! You're doing it wrong...you’re going to hurt yourself …yes…like that!" she warned too late, unable to hide the smile threatening to appear on her face. 

Her great aunt Ariel was currently splayed face down on the floor laughing, having landed that way after unsuccessfully attempting the "downward facing dog" position…again.

"Darling, you may be younger, and stronger, but I can still lift these old bones off the floor myself," Ariel chided as she pushed Tauriel's hand away.  “The day I can’t will be a sad day indeed.” Standing up, she asked "So tell me…how's Sigrid doing these days?  Rhea says that she’s still having those awful nightmares." 

"You two are terrible gossips!  What does Rhea do, stand by Sigrid's door listening and then call you first thing in the morning?" accused Tauriel, but she was smiling.  She knew that both her Aunt and Sigrid's gram, Rhea, were worried about her friend.  _She was too_. 

 "Sigrid is…dealing…what else can she do?" Tauriel replied seriously.  She felt a sad smile form as she thought of her friend.

Sigrid had been the first _real_ friend that Tauriel had ever made.  She was funny, bright, kind and beautiful in all the ways Tauriel felt mattered.  She was honest and loyal and always up for a bit of mischief.  _Oh the scrapes they had gotten into together over the years!_    There had never been a dull moment, from the very first night they had met. 

Tauriel was relatively well liked in school and over the years had acquired many acquaintances.  Most however, had never been allowed past the outer façade that she put on in public; the one that portrayed an outgoing, relatively carefree person.   Sigrid was different.  She had seen right past all the barriers and never let Tauriel spin any bullshit her way.  She was the only one who knew that inside, Tauriel was something of an emotional mess. 

Tauriel’s parents had split up when she was five, which had led to “shared custody”.  This ultimately amounted to being sent away to boarding school at the age of eleven and splitting what she had of a summer holiday between two homes she was never comfortable in.  Once her father remarried and started a new family, visits with him had stopped completely and with her mother traveling for work much of the time, often she’d had no choice but to spend holidays stuck at school.  By the time she was 14, she had been thrown out of three separate boarding schools (two in the last year) due to “behavioral issues” and her mother was at her wit’s end.  Military academy was on the table and it was only a random, yet blessedly timed, out of the blue phone call from her mother’s Aunt Ariel that had led to Tauriel being asked to spend that first summer with her aunt in Edgewood, a sleepy little town on the northern coast of Maine, in the States.  She thanked the Valar every day for that miracle. 

When they had met, Sigrid too, was well familiar with pain…and loss.  Her own parents and older brother had died in a tragic boating accident, of which only she and her younger sister Tilda had survived.   If that wasn’t enough, Sigrid was now also dealing with the aftermath of the death of her fiancé Finn two years ago.  He had been struck by a car, driven by an older gentleman from town who had suffered a fatal heart attack behind the wheel.  Sigrid had watched him die.  Tauriel’s eyes burned at the thought of all that her friend had had to endure.  _Sigrid has had enough suffering…enough!_

As she started to walk upstairs to the bathroom, Ariel dropped some news it was obvious she had been sitting on since the night before.

"By the way dear, I almost forgot to tell you…Kili Durinson stopped by yesterday while you were out." 

Tauriel stopped dead in her tracks; _Kili had stopped by_.  The words made her stomach flutter.  "What did he want?" she asked with a small voice, wiping a tear from her face that had formed and escaped while she had been thinking of Sigrid. 

"He stopped by to drop off some tomatoes for me.”  Tauriel just stood there for a moment.  Kili had stopped by; _her_ Kili.  _No…not hers_. 

In the years since she had moved to Edgewood, Kili Durinson was the only boy (well, _man_ now, of course) that had never tried to chase her, and consequently had been the only boy she wished would have. 

Not that Tauriel thought of herself as anything special, but living in a small town, her slender build, slightly taller than average height, distinctively long red locks and “funny accent”, had always stood out.  She knew he had looked at her like many other boys had, and she thought he liked what he saw, but for whatever reason, he had never approached her as anything other than a casual friend. 

Tauriel knew that his father had died the winter before she had moved to town and that his older brother had left soon after in an attempt, the gossips had said, to “find himself”, leaving Kili at home to run the family’s farm with their mother, Dis, whom Tauriel had always found most kind and endearing. 

Over the years she felt that she and Kili had developed a sort of friendly, competitive camaraderie.  They had classes together and had both been on the school’s Biathlon team.  He was also the only other person she knew who enjoyed archery besides herself.  One time, he had even taken her side in a debate with the rest of the team as to whether or not cross bows might not be better to shoot with than rifles. 

They had bumped into each other at parties as well; sometimes sharing glances, green eyes catching deep, brooding brown looking her way across the room, always under the guise of speaking to others; rarely speaking to each other.  

She had never been one for “dating” and in truth, had been on few actual dates over the years, _like count them on one hand few_.  She knew that his experiences were similarly limited.  _Small towns were good for some things_ she thought. 

But for all the bravado she so often liked to display, Tauriel had never been able to find the courage to just ask him what the deal was between them.  She so wanted to know if he too felt the ever present electric tension that seemed to surround them whenever they were near each other.   But whenever he was around, that same tension kept her defenses firmly in place.    She had had front row seats to her parent’s nightmare of a relationship and had always said she would never be tied down.  She would be independent; never needing a man in her life.  Too bad she didn’t count on actually _wanting_ one. 

Now, it didn’t matter anymore because it was too late.  His mother had retired south and he was selling his family's farm.  He would be moving away as soon as it was sold.  

“He asked after you…”

  _She really needed a shower_.  _A cold one_.

Aunt Ariel knew she had gotten to her young niece as she watched the girl stalk upstairs.  She smiled knowingly to herself and picked up her crossword puzzle. 

 ***

The clock on the nightstand read 02:30.  Fili had been ringing in every half hour, wide awake, unable to shut off his brain.  He just couldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened.

A week ago, Fili had nailed the biggest case of his career.  He had been certain that this year the firm would ask him to be a partner.  Well, last week felt worlds away now…

_"Innocent…we find the defendant not guilty!" cried the jury foreman.  Fili was ecstatic.  Another one in the bag! A big one this time too.  Fili turned and gave a short nod to the prosecuting attorney.  She had given him a run for his money; that was certain.  The woman had been tough on her cross of his client, but Fili had ultimately prevailed.  What a pay day for the firm, he thought.  He turned and shook hands with his client, now a free man._

_As he was turning to leave the courtroom someone called to him. “Fili! Wait up!" his second chair, Lindy Greenleaf, was making her way over to him._

_"Some of us underlings are headed out to celebrate.  Would you like to come and buy your poor junior associates a round?" she asked coyly.   Lindy was attractive, in an eager, just out of law school sort of way, but Fili had never been interested in mixing business with pleasure. "Not tonight, but thanks for the invite Lin.  I'll make it up to you guys, I promise," he replied.  He was headed straight home because he had promised Corrine, his wife of the last eight years, that they would go out for dinner together tonight._

_Fili, surprisingly, had finished in court early, so he had stopped to grab a bouquet of Peonies…Cor’s favorite.  He couldn't wait to tell her he had won today.  She would be thrilled…mostly for his increased prospects of making partner this year, but…he told himself…he had to stop thinking like that; he was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt these days._

_Fili was glad they would have some time together tonight and was sure that things had seemed better between them recently.  At least she had stopped nagging him about having a second child.  Perhaps she had finally accepted Fili's idea to wait a couple more years for things to finally settle down.  After all, they had little Frerin, who would only be turning six this year.  He just didn't understand the rush.  Fili felt that he could barely set enough time aside for the son he already had, forget adding another child to the mix!  She had been pretty persistent about it though and Fili didn't like when they argued.  He had tried to explain how difficult it had been for him, trying to be involved with Frerin while finishing law school and starting at the firm.  Things were looking up now though…way up._

_When he pulled up to his house, it seemed completely dark.   Frerin was at a friend’s house for the night, so he and Corinne would have the place to themselves._

_He assumed that Cor was in the shower, so after grabbing the mail, he made his way to the kitchen for a glass of wine.  Once there, out of the corner of his eye he saw a briefcase on the counter; one he knew well.  It bore the embossed initials "T.O."._

_The briefcase belonged to his boss and senior, named partner at the law firm, Thranduil Oropher._

_His first thought had been that perhaps the man had already heard about the win today in court and stopped by to speak with him.  He must have left once he realized that Fili wasn't home yet.  Perhaps he had forgotten his briefcase in his haste?  No, that couldn't be it…Fili had only left court half an hour ago and besides...Thranduil wasn't exactly the visiting type. He would ask Corrine…_

_He started up the kitchen stairs and on reaching the halfway point, he heard hushed voices; one of which was his wife’s._

_“Valar! I'm telling you, I heard the door!"_

_"Don't be ridiculous Corrine…he's going to be in court all afternoon," came a voice Fili would recognize anywhere._

_Fili stopped where he was.  What the hell was happening? Mahal!  What should he do?  He had no idea.  But even if he wanted to, he couldn't move, so he continued to listen._

_"Thranduil, what are we going to do?  I don't love him anymore!  I want a divorce!" Corrine maligned._

_"Calm down Cor, no rash decisions now," Oropher cooed to her._

_"Oh come off it!  You don’t want me to divorce my husband because you don't have the balls to leave your wife!" she leveled condescendingly._

_"You know it's not like that darling.  Fili is up for partner this year and it would be a shame to jeopardize that for him by doing something we’d all regret," he said calmly._

_Fili felt his stomach flip sickeningly._

_"What’s going on here should only help his chances then?" she murmured._

_"_ _I told you before …I’ll make sure Fili’s partner offer has a salary range big enough that you’ll be able to demand alimony from him when you finally file for divorce.  I promise…you will never want for anything.  We just need to keep this quiet until then and all will be well.”_

_It was more than Fili could take.  He backed quietly down the stairs to the kitchen.  He could feel his eyes burning and his stomach churning.  What the hell was happening?  How long had this been going on?  He wanted to know, but at the same time, he hoped that somehow he would wake up and it would all just be a bad dream.  Instead, he reached the bathroom just in time._

_What seemed to Fili like hours later, even though he knew it had only been minutes, he rinsed the bile taste from his mouth and proceeded back upstairs.  Not even bothering to knock, he barged into his bedroom.  The second he opened the door he saw too completely stunned faces, attached to two very naked bodies.   He knew in that instant, his marriage and his career at Oropher and Greenwood, were over._

***

The clock now read 03:30 and Fili was still wide awake.  _Mahal_.  He couldn't sleep at all.  That night…the night his and Frerin's lives had changed forever, still burned fresh in his memory every time he closed his eyes.

Cor had packed her bags and left that night, without even saying goodbye to their son.  The entire time, she kept ranting about how all of this was Fili’s fault and had he only been more of a man, had he only worked harder, none of this would have happened.  He had sat on their bed (which he knew he would never sleep in again) as he had asked her where she was heading and she could only answer something about taking an extended vacation with some friends; he couldn’t even be sure of where, as she hadn’t bothered to tell him.  He had no idea when (or even if) she might be back. 

Thranduil had all but run from the room, apologizing lamely as he went.  Fili had wanted to kill him, so it was good that he left as quickly as he had. 

***

The next few days were a blur to Fili.  He had had no idea how to tell his son what had happened.   How were you supposed to tell a child that his mother has left and Mahal only knew when she would be coming back? He had called his brother Kili right away and the two discussed what could be done. 

Kili, after using some very colorful language to explain, in detail, exactly how he felt about what Cor had done, suggested that Fili pack himself and Frerin up and come home to the family farm for an “extended vacation” of their own.  He had to admit, the idea was appealing.  He hadn’t been home in more than ten years and Frerin had never been there; he felt terribly guilty imposing on his brother but the more Fili mulled it over though, the more he thought if they went to visit, it might be good for all of them. 

When their father had died, Fili had all but run out of the small town they were from, leaving Kili at home, alone with their mother.  While Fili had stayed away, Kili had taken over the struggling family business from their mother and had doggedly stuck it out all these years.  It was because of Kili that Fili still had a place to refer to as “home”, at all.    

His eyes started to burn again and at that, Fili decided that he had had enough "rest" and got up for the day. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay! Hopefully the wait won't be so long next time :)

Fili had never been unemployed before in his life and consequently had never really had to "look for work".  Oh sure, Thranduil had wanted Fili to stay on at the firm, even going so far as to say that there would be _no hard feelings_ , but just two days after "the incident", Fili had been told that he would not be making partner that year. No hard feelings... _right_.  He had given his notice on the spot and left without even clearing out his office.

Opening the bottle of scotch, Fili poured himself his third...no _fourth_ glass.  Looking for a new job was a terrible business; especially when you couldn’t be certain of a fair recommendation from your former employer.  He clicked the mouse over the next job description.

His eyes tiring, he looked away from his computer screen for a moment and took in all the photos on display around his study; they all seemed like lies.  Then his gaze fell on the shelf containing all his old football trophies.  Those memories too, were tainted for him now.  After all, football was how he ended up meeting Corinne. 

Fili’s father had always been a driving force in his life and Fili had always wanted to be just like him. Of course this had meant that he followed in his footsteps right onto the football field.  His dad had been All State, so Fili had to be as well. It was something that he and his father shared, just the two of them.  Kili and their dad had always had hunting and camping; Fili was no outdoorsman, for all he had grown up on a working farm. 

When their father had died suddenly, midway through his junior year of high school, Kili had taken their mother’s wellbeing on as his personal mission, while Fili had lost himself utterly, to his grief. He had thrown himself into the sport that he had shared with the most important man in his life.  Thankfully, he had been able to maintain good enough grades as well, and was able to earn himself an athletic scholarship to Erebor State.  He had left Edgewood and never looked back. 

In his sophomore year at State, he met Corrine and his whole outlook changed. Fili was a good player, to be sure, and his team always finished the season with a winning record, but he knew it was not realistic to dream of playing football as a career.  So, before college ended, Fili proposed to Cor and what seemed like a minute later, they were married with a kid on the way; he wasn't even finished with law school yet.

***

After another glass of scotch, Fili started to wonder when she would come back...or even if she _was_ coming back.  He decided that he couldn’t wait around to find out; it would kill him _and_ their son. 

He began thinking about Frerin and what he wanted for them both.  He wanted them to be closer.  He wanted a quiet place, away from the city, where they could get to know one another and build a real relationship, such as he had had with his own, beloved father.  Most importantly, he wanted a place where his son could be happy.  _Somewhere they could both be happy_. 

True happiness always seemed to elude him, Fili thought.  He tried to remember the last time he had been really and truly happy.  On the day Frerin was born he had been happy for sure, but that was a no-brainer.  When before that had he been truly happy?  It was scary almost; how nothing came to mind…  He didn't even remember being particularly happy on his own wedding day.  Corrine had been miserable the entire time because it had rained.  Like there was anything he could have done about that!  And then, all of a sudden, it hit him like a rock slide in a mine… 

Edgewood; the last time he had been truly happy, had been in sleepy Edgewood.

Fili hardly ever thought about his childhood.  It seemed like a lifetime ago; he guessed it sort of was now. He remembered his family’s home there; a big, rambling, dark blue Victorian farm house, with light blue shutters.  He and Kili had shared the entire, open third floor and from two of their windows they’d had a commanding view of the little fishing cove.  The sun would come up every morning from across the water and make the walls sparkle with rainbows of reflected color. 

He passed out thinking about how much he missed it. How much he missed… _home_. 

***

The chimes attached to the front door of “Tauriel's Treats” rang out as the woman herself came barreling through it.   "Morning Sig!" she yelled. 

"Morning Tauri, right on time as usual", Sigrid said, sarcastically, making reference to the fifth time this week that her friend had rambled through the door just past 8. They opened for business at 7 and Tauriel knew quite well that Sigrid had been there since 6 getting things ready for the day. 

The air was heavy with the delicious smell of pastries that were still baking, as Sigrid placed some of the finished product into the glass display case at the front of the store.

“Did you make the Rhubarb scones lovey?”

Sigrid smirked to herself knowing exactly what her friend meant with the question. She knew they were _his_ favorite…

“Of course! What type of world would we be living in if I, heaven forbid, forgot the beloved Rhubarb scones!” she chuckled.  “And before you ask, no…no one has been in yet this morning.”  Tauriel never asked outright, but Sigrid knew. _For crying out loud, the entire town knew what was going on between her friend and Kili Durinson…_ or maybe more like what _wasn’t_ going on between them.   The situation had been frustrating Sigrid for years…ever since Tauriel had confided in her that she had feelings for the younger Durinson brother.  Yet, here they were, still avoiding each other pointedly after so long and now Kili would most likely be moving away. 

Kili didn’t come to the bakery every day; in fact, his visits were rare, because he technically “worked from home”, but Tauriel always made sure his favorite was in the case. “Yes, well, I just like to make sure that we have what everyone likes on hand,” Tauriel said calmly, avoiding her friend’s knowing gaze. “It wouldn’t be right to force someone into having say, a blueberry muffin, when what they are really craving is a chocolate filled croissant, now would it?” her eyes glinting with something like amusement.  

“I guess you’re right,” Sigrid agreed, but then couldn’t help herself, “But, what if someone wants something more…something more than just Rhubarb scones; like maybe they want the blueberry muffin now, but all you keep offering is scones?”

“Why do I think we aren’t talking about pastries anymore Sig?”

Sigrid smiled. “Of course we are, what else would we be talking about Tauri?”  She heard what sounded like a muffled groan emanating from the area of her best friend. 

After a few minutes of companionable and only slightly awkward silence, the door chimed again and in rushed Sigrid’s younger sister, Tilda, and her husband Sam, trailed by their two little boys.

“And how are two of my favorite people in the whole world doing on this lovely morning?” Tilda asked loudly, parading into the little shop, her trademark silly grin in place. Sam just shook his head fondly at his wife.  The boys’ eyes lit up as they approached the display case. 

“Boys, only one pastry each, ok? Aunt Sig and Tauri do have to make a profit you know, and they can’t if you eat everything, right?” admonished Tilda to her two boys. 

“Only need one anyway, right mom?” asked Bard, Tilda’s oldest, smiling. He was always the responsible one.  Sigrid thought it was a trait that often went hand in hand with being the oldest.

“You might only need one Bard, but I’m _sure_ I need two! Please mom?” begged little Bain. 

“No wonder you never want to eat your supper! You start overeating at breakfast!  What am I going to do with you little man?”  Tilda ruffled her son’s curly dark blond hair.  He smiled wide at her in return, curling his little arms around her waist. 

Sigrid loved when her sister’s family came into the shop. They opened before school started, so many days, the bakery was a stop Tilda’s brood made on their way to work and school.  Both boys got their love of everything food from their father. Sigrid’s brother in law Sam owned and operated a lovely little restaurant in town called “The Shire” which was only open for lunch and dinner, so he was always around to help with the boys in the mornings.  He too loved picking something from their “magic pastry case”, as he called it.  Sigrid would have loved him even if all she had ever known about him was how much he loved her sister.  But Sam was also just an all-around awesome person, always making sure that his wife felt loved and safe, and that Tilda’s extended family (namely Sigrid and their grandmother Rhea) always felt welcome in their home.  He was a true gentleman and partner, never one to stifle Tilda’s tempest of creativity.  He let her be herself and Sigrid felt that was what was most important; you should never have to change yourself to fit into someone else’s idea of what you are or ought to be.  She was so thankful that her sister had found such happiness.  Sometimes though…only sometimes, she felt a little cheated; a life like that should have been hers too…

“So, Gram called this morning and invited us all to supper at her place tonight. She asked me to mention it to you and Tauri,” Tilda said around the chocolate chip muffin she was stuffing ungracefully into her mouth.  This was news to Sigrid.  

“Gram didn’t say anything to me about company for dinner tonight. Do you know who else she’s inviting?” 

“Pretty sure Ariel is going to be there. Gram said she was making eggplant parm tonight because Ariel was bringing over some fresh tomatoes for the sauce. Other than that, who can say…?”

From the corner of her eye, Sigrid could see that Tauriel’s face had _become_ a tomato.  That got filed away for later as she answered her younger sister.

“I live there, so of course, I’ll be there.” Quietly, she added “I’ll work on Tauri,” slanting her head in her friend’s direction and Tilda smiled knowingly.

“You do that Sis…” was the sly reply, with the addition of a wink.  After a few more minutes of gabbing and chewing, Tilda’s little family was on their way and Sigrid and Tauriel settled in for a busy day of pastries and lattes. 

 ***

After they had closed the shop for the day, Sigrid came out from the back with a bottle of their favorite red and popped it open.  She poured herself a glass and then handed the bottle to Tauriel.  "It was busy today", she said. 

"Mmm...” was all Tauriel could reply as she chugged some wine directly from the bottle.

"Classy Tauri…real classy. Are you going to come for dinner tonight?” Sigrid asked. 

"I don’t know…like you said, been kind of a long day…” Tauriel replied as she wiped her flour covered sleeve across her face where some errant wine had dribbled down her chin.

"Oh, c'mon, you heard Tils…Gram is making eggplant parm...your _favorite_ ,” Sigrid wheedled. "And besides, there's more where this came from!" she said as she took the wine bottle back from Tauriel, who was pensive. “Does this maybe have something to do with where the tomatoes came from?”

"I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Tauriel said defensively, cheeks in full blush mode, and then quickly gave in to her friend, wanting to avoid any embarrassing disclosures, “Alright, but you have to promise to keep the vino flowing!” chuckled Tauriel. 

 ***

When they got to Rhea's house, Sigrid noticed that her grandmother had set the table for nine when there should only have been eight.  She had just pointed this out to Tauriel, speculating on who else may be joining them for dinner, when the doorbell rang.  Tauriel made her way over to the door and opened it just as she was taking a bite out of a roll she had stolen off the table, expecting to find Sigrid’s sister’s family. Instead, she nearly choked because standing there, looking slightly uncomfortable, was not Tilda, Sam or the boys…but _Kili Durinson_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and sticking with me on this :) Hope it was enjoyable!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but my muse has been absent lately...but finally, here is an update!

When Fili finally woke up the next morning, in a puddle of his own drool, he could tell that as soon as he moved his head he was going to have a powerful headache.  He looked at the clock…good…still a few hours before he had to pick up Frerin from his little friend’s house.  The kid’s parents had been very understanding and had graciously allowed Fili to take some needed time for himself by offering to have Frerin over quite regularly.  Of course, that didn’t excuse the bender he had gone on the night before.  _Just add it to the list of things to feel awful about…_ he thought bitterly. 

He had fallen asleep at his desk looking at jobs again; that, at least, he remembered.  But he was having trouble remembering anything else he had done the night before. His foot kicked an empty scotch bottle and sure enough, as he lifted his head, there was in fact stabbing pain as he had predicted.   He looked up and saw "new message" flashing away on the computer display and clicked open his e-mail.  He rubbed his eyes to read the message and couldn't believe what he was seeing...

 ***

Only an hour before, Fili had woken up with a splitting headache.  Now, he couldn’t believe he was packing his and Frerin’s bags and heading to Edgewood for of all things, _a job interview_.  He couldn’t even remember sending the e-mail the man said he had received.  He knew that he had been looking at jobs in the New England area the night before, but the scotch had made his memory of it like Swiss cheese. 

In any case, the e-mail he had received had been from Thorin Oakenshield, the athletics director at Edgewood High School; Fili’s old Alma Mater.  Apparently, he was responding to Fili's request for information regarding the open position on the coaching staff of the high school’s football team!  His email had said that he remembered Fili’s name from his days playing for Edgewood High and had followed his career in college.  Oakenshield had asked if Fili would be visiting home any time soon and would he be interested in coming for an interview!

Fili was taken by surprise to say the least, and now, what was he doing? He and his son were getting on a plane to head out to the east coast on a whim. He had responded to Oakenshield’s e-mail thanking him for the opportunity and said that he would be on a plane the next day. 

He couldn’t believe he was doing this.  It was so out of character for him!  He had to admit though as he and Frerin boarded the red eye, it would be interesting to see how the town had changed.  He fell asleep thinking about how maybe this was the start of a new chapter for he and his son.    

***

 As she opened the door and saw who was there, Tauriel froze.  She knew she must look ridiculous; stopping mid-chew as she had.  “Um, hello” she said, turning the deepest shade of red imaginable. 

 “Uh…hi” responded Kili, eyes going big and then looking at his boots. 

Sigrid hurried over to rescue her best friend and as she ushered Tauriel away from the door she said “Kili! What a nice surprise! Come on in!”  Kili followed the girls inside and took off his baseball cap.  “Ms. Ariel, Ms. Rhea” he said as he nodded to the two older women.  The ladies smiled at him as they were directing everyone into the dining room; Tilda’s family having arrived while Tauriel and Kili were still somewhat frozen at the doorway. 

***

“Kili, would you please pass the eggplant?” asked Rhea.  “Thank you dear.  So tell us, has there been a lot of interest in the farm?” 

“Ah, yes ma’am.  The realtor has had a few open houses and the traffic has been really good,” said Kili.  “This is delicious by the way Ms. Rhea.”

“Thank you honey.  Any man who appreciates a good meal is always a welcome guest at my table,” Rhea responded.  “I’m glad you like it.”  

Sigrid could tell that Tauriel was uncomfortable.  For some reason, her friend had just never been able to relax around Kili, and Sigrid thought she understood why; Kili had never… _ever_ …made a single move on Tauriel, _which just didn’t happen_.  She had beautiful, long, auburn hair, piercing green eyes and a personality that everyone loved.  When Tauriel walked into a room, you couldn’t help but notice her.  Sigrid had always wondered what it was that had kept him away; she just couldn’t figure it out.   

They’d all been friends growing up; well, sort of.  There hadn’t really been a choice; a small town was just that…small.  There were a total of sixty-five kids in her graduating class at Edgewood High School.  She, Tauriel and Kili had been in the same year and Tilda had followed two years behind.  She knew that Kili had an older brother, _Fili_ , if she remembered correctly, who had been the same age as her own brother, Bain. 

Sigrid’s eyes started to sting; thoughts of her family always made her sad.  She pushed them away and tried to focus on the scene in front of her.  She had to say, chuckling inwardly; _Kili did have a really cute smile._

Sigrid looked over at Tauriel and their eyes met.  Using the language they had developed for when speaking would be…inopportune; Sigrid understood that Tauriel wanted to speak to her in the kitchen.  She excused herself under the guise of going to retrieve another bottle of wine and Tauriel volunteered to help her choose.  Once they were in the kitchen and Sigrid had closed the door, Tauriel fell onto the counter with her head between her hands. 

“What is all this about? You knew he was coming didn’t you! Oh Sig, how could you?” she cried.

“I swear I didn’t know!  How could you think that I would do that to you?” Sigrid cried back.  A few seconds passed and Sigrid added carefully “But now that he’s here…what are you going to do about it?” a mischievous glint in her eye.

 “I don’t know,” Tauriel replied nervously; completely red in the face. 

***

At the table, Kili was helping himself to seconds of the eggplant parm when Aunt Ariel said “Kili, we want you to know that we are all going to miss you; some more than others I’m sure.”

“Well, I’m sure going to miss coming here for dinner ladies,” he replied with a soft smile. 

His palms were sweaty; again.  _Ugh…why was this so hard?_ Right… _because he was sitting and eating dinner with Tauriel freaking Sylvan!_ He had been smitten with the beautiful redhead since the very first day he had met her. 

She had breezed into Edgewood and breathed new life into the place.  Coming off of his father’s untimely death, she had been like an angel sent from Mahal to brighten his world again. 

Kili remembered that once, during their junior year, when they had been on a field trip for school, they had been forced to sit together on the bus.  They didn’t talk the entire way, in fact Kili spent the ride with his back up against the window talking to the boy in front of him and Tauriel spent most of the ride talking to the girl across the aisle, but when the bus driver hit a particularly large bump in the road, Tauriel was thrown backwards into him and he reached out just in time to brace her from falling off the seat.  It was fleeting, but for one brief, glorious moment, he had her in his arms and he had simply… _melted_.  When she composed herself, Tauriel pushed away from him, not too hard, and also not before she betrayed the most beautiful smile to him.  Never since had she shown the slightest inclination that she was interested in him, but Kili never lost hope that one day she might flash that starlight smile his way again. 

He had quietly admired her from afar, watching jealously as she dated a couple of boys in high school and then wondering pathetically what Tauriel was up to while she and Sigrid were away at college.  He always regretted not having pursued her, but had always felt like he wasn’t in her league.  She was just so…well; truly, there were in fact no words to do her justice.  Most times, his heart would ache when he looked at her.  _Hell, his heart ached just thinking of her._   He would never be good enough for her, though; at least that was how he saw the situation.  A farmer about to lose his farm… _oh the irony._   He sighed. 

***

Sigrid and Tauriel came back into the dining room with a fresh bottle of wine then.  “Well that took forever!” cried Tilda.  “I hope you found what you were looking for,” she asked Tauriel, pointedly.  Tauriel glared at her and then lowered her eyes.  She could feel Kili look at her quickly and then look away. 

“Gran, what did you make for dessert?” Sigrid asked trying to change the subject. 

“Oh honey, I made strawberry rhubarb pie and Ariel brought fresh whipped cream!” she replied.  

When dinner was over and Sigrid had seen Kili to the door, she went upstairs to her bedroom where Tauriel was hiding.  She caught her watching Kili drive down the street. 

“I swear, I had no knowledge of what those two old ladies had planned,” she said to Tauriel as she handed her one of two glasses of top shelf whiskey. Tonight’s events, she knew, required the hard stuff.  “Although, I can’t vouch for Tilda or Sam,” she added with a sly smile. 

“They must have asked him for dinner when he came over with those tomatoes!  I should have known!” Tauriel berated herself.  “If I had known, I…I...” 

“You wouldn’t have come to dinner.”

“No…most likely not.  I know you would have told me if you had known though,” said Tauriel as she sat down on Sigrid’s bed taking a grateful sip of her drink. “Sig, what am I doing? Why does he do this to me?” she asked quietly. 

“I don’t know sweetie, I don’t know,” replied Sigrid.  “Why don’t you ever just talk to him?  In fact, I can’t remember the last time the two of you spoke directly to one another.” 

“I don’t think we ever have”, Tauriel said sheepishly.  “I just…just wouldn’t know what to say to him.  Especially after all this time.” 

 “Oh, I don’t know, how about something like ‘Oh Kili, please don’t move!  Let’s get married and have lots of babies!’”  Sigrid gushed dramatically. 

 “Not funny!” cried Tauriel.

 “But its true…don’t think you can lie to _me_ Sylvan.”

 “Seriously, I mean it, what should I do?  I can’t take this much longer…what if he really leaves me Sig?  What then?” she asked. 

Sigrid could see tears in her friend’s eyes and she lost all pretense of levity.  “You need to talk to him Tauriel.  You know, I have a teensy little hunch that he feels the same way about you.  I mean, he’s never said anything directly, there’s just something in his eyes when he looks at you.  I don’t know, but I think it would be worth your time to finally pluck up the courage to talk to him.  I mean, c’mon honey…its time” she chided.  “Besides, what do you have to lose?  If nothing comes of it, he’s moving.  But if you never find out, and he leaves, you’ll torment yourself forever wondering.” 

Tauriel knew that her friend was right.  What _did_ she have to lose? The answer slapped her in the face so hard, she could almost imagine a bruise forming.  There was _nothing_ to lose…just as Sigrid had said.  He was leaving anyway, so if he wasn’t interested, then that would be that.   And besides, assuming he _might_ be interested, what was one date? But still she was unsure… _ugh!  What was her problem!_

Before Tauriel could say anything further, Sigrid placed both of her hands on her friend’s shoulders, recognizing the old, familiar, internal battle and offered her a piece of advice that she had never pulled out of her arsenal before…

“Tauri,” she began, “You are my best friend…along with Tils of course, so I am going to level with you.  You don’t need to spend a single second more being afraid.  I’ve known Kili forever, and you’ve known him now for a while too.  Can you honestly tell me that you think he would hurt you?  I know you know better.”

“Now, you don’t like to hear this, but this whole thing is just silly.  No…don’t interrupt,” she admonished when Tauriel gave a little start.  “You need to hear this.  The way that boy looks at you is the same way Finn looked at me…look at me Tauri…” And Tauriel raised wet eyes to Sigrid’s, seeing a matching sheen there.   

“You have to find the courage to go after what you want.  Don’t let your past dictate your future.  And most definitely, do not waste the time that has been given to you.  _Please._ ”

 Sigrid’s words hit home hard and Tauriel steeled herself.  She downed the rest of her whiskey, stood up, dried her eyes on her sleeve and then enveloped her friend in a tight hug.

 “Okay,” she whispered in Sigrid’s ear. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...more soon...if I can recapture my inspiration...*fingers crossed*!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok! Chapter 4 here we are! The ice is beginning to thaw my friends! And Fili and Frerin will be joining the Edgewood mix soon!

It was after midnight once Kili got home.  He had gone for a drive after dinner to clear his head and had ended up sitting down on the sea wall at the end of the cove for a long while. 

Now, he opened a beer and looked out his kitchen window over the fields that had provided for his family for generations.  He was going to miss this place.  It had been home since…well…since forever.  He had been hoping that it would always be home; that he would have started on a family of his own by now. 

He wasn’t exactly going far, but he would be at least an hour’s drive away in the city.  He felt like a complete failure and if he was being honest, it felt like he was running away.  He didn’t like that one bit; he was a Durinson and since when had they ever fled from a fight?  But what choice did he have?  It had been a rough few years while he had attempted to go all organic and now, crop yields being much smaller than they had been, and not enough money coming in, he either had to sell, or lose it anyway.  He was barely managing and he couldn’t help but think of how he had wanted so much more from his life. 

His mother hadn’t batted an eyelash when he told her he was contemplating selling.  She had moved south herself, having had enough of what she called the “The Durinson Stubborn Pride” and cold weather.  She made sure Kili knew that if he wanted, he would always have a place with her in the land of palm trees and warm ocean breezes. 

He was thankful for her assurances, but Kili didn’t think she understood.  To him, Edgewood was home.  Always had been and always would be.  It was the last place that his entire immediate family had been whole.  This was the place he felt closest to his father; the place he felt closest to his absent brother.  _This is where Tauriel lives…_  

He viciously tamped down on that last thought, not allowing himself to linger.  He had purposefully delivered those damned tomatoes, _just to be neighborly mind you_ , when he knew for certain that Tauriel would still be at the café.  Uncomfortable things happened to Kili when he ran into her without expecting to; _sweaty hands…the worst…_ yes _,_ usually just best to avoid that. 

It was rather unfortunate really, seeing as she made the most to-die-for scones in the entire world; but even though he knew that most mornings she got to the shop late (he wasn’t willing to admit to himself how exactly he knew that… _Facebook stalk much Kili?_ ), he wasn’t willing to chance it most days. 

When faced with the expectant faces of Tauriel’s Aunt and Sigrid’s Gram, however, as they had insisted he enjoy the fruits of his labor by joining them for supper the next evening, he had been unable to come up with a viable excuse as to why he could not.  So, what could he say without being rude?   Nothing; he’d had to go.   At least it hadn’t been any more painful and awkward than he had already fully expected it to be.  He sighed deeply…

What could he possibly offer her?  What could he, Kili, who was just a farm boy, just the younger son of a widowed mother, left behind and all but abandoned by his brother for years, and who now was barely hanging on to his family’s legacy, truly offer her? She who was more beautiful than the fireworks over the cove on the 4th of July? She who was an angel walking this earth?    _Another sigh…_

To distract himself from his morose thoughts, he glanced at his phone to check the time and saw that he had a missed call from his brother.  He tapped out his password and dialed in to his voicemail. 

It was Fili, apparently calling from a place where he almost needed to shout. Kili could hear a crowd in the background.  His brother sounded happy for a change. 

“Brother!  Hope you aren’t planning any wild parties for this weekend, otherwise Frerin and I will be gate crashing!  You are not going to believe the news I have to tell you and for once…its good and not more fucking heart break Ki!  But I digress…don’t bother phoning me back, Frer and I took your advice and we are on our way!  Flight arrives in Boston around 7 tomorrow morning.  Don’t worry about picking us up because I’ve got a rental already booked.  Assuming I still remember how to reach our front door, we’ll see you around 9 tomorrow morning! Hey…little brother,” and here, Fili lowered his voice a little, “I love you.”

And just like that, the smile was back on Kili’s face.   If his brother could find his way home after all these years and all that had happened…then maybe…just maybe…Kili could get his shit together about Tauriel.  If only he had some idea of how she felt… _he could probably ask Sigrid_ ; but maybe that was the point.  Maybe you were just supposed to put yourself out there and whatever happened happened…  And if maybe he was finally able to find his balls and he did happen to say something to Tauriel? Well, at least when she shot him down, he’d have Fili there to help ease whatever pain it caused.

Once tucked into bed, alone in the dark of his bedroom, Kili allowed himself a moment of weakness.  Just once, he allowed himself to imagine he was enough; that he was worthy of his flame-haired Goddess.  He imagined what it would be like if she said yes to him…yes to everything…yes to a life shared together… 

He fell asleep with a smile on his face.

 ***

Once the plane landed, Fili gathered his and Frerin’s things and watched his son as he looked out the small cabin window as they waited to disembark.  

“Dad, is Uncle Ki gonna pick us up?” he asked Fili.

 “No, no kiddo, I rented us a car and we’re gonna drive to Edgewood; shouldn’t be more than a couple of hours.  Don’t worry though, he knows we’re coming.”  He smiled at his son as he ruffled a hand through his curly hair and was pleased to receive a smile in return.  Frerin hadn’t worn a smile on his face since before Fili had had to tell him Cor had left and he wasn’t sure when she would be back. 

Frerin had taken the news badly, and had drawn in on himself over the days since it had happened.  He also had intimated to Fili that he somehow felt whatever had happened was his fault.   That had put Fili right over the edge and he had done his utmost to nip that line of thought in the bits post haste, telling his son that, in no uncertain terms, that he was _never_ to blame, that he was the best thing in Fili’s life and that no matter what happened, they would be together, he would never leave Frerin until the Maker came to claim him and that he loved him dearer than anything else in the entire wide world.  Frerin hadn’t seemed convinced, but Fili reminded himself that actions would speak louder than any promises he could make.  He also hoped that his brother’s influence and steady example would help as well. 

The two made their way from the plane to the baggage carousel and then to the car rental desk.   Fili had arranged for a rag top Jeep because it had seemed like it would be fun, and he wanted Frerin to have as good a time as possible.  Secretly, Fili felt he was in need of some good old fashioned fun as well, and when he had seen the black Wrangler as a rental option, had jumped at it immediately; it would be much more exciting than a boring sedan!

 ***

 Once they were packed up and on the road, top off of course thanks to the warm and mild, early morning, June weather, Frerin asked if he could put the radio on and Fili was pleased to see his boy engaging, even just a little bit, in their adventure. 

 "Sure kiddo, whatever you like,” he said fondly. 

After a couple of minutes trying to find a station, because of course everyone knows that wherever you are, the stations are different than wherever you’re from, Frerin stopped on what appeared to be a top 40 station and started singing along to a song Fili recognized as well, so he joined in.  It must have been quite a picture, the two of them cruising along the highway, top off, wind in their hair and singing at the top of their lungs.  For the first time in what seemed like forever, Fili felt a little of his old self coming back.  He looked over at his son and couldn’t help the smile that lit up his face.  His little guy would be ok…he would make sure of it.

***

Sigrid was at the café bright and early, getting the first pots of coffee brewed and the morning’s first round of baked goods out and into the case.  After a bit, she heard the telltale chimes of the door, indicating that someone had come in to the shop. 

As she exited the backroom, Sigrid was taken a little aback to see Kili Durinson looking around nervously. 

“Morning Kili, how can I help you?” she asked sweetly. 

“Morning Sigrid, I…I just came in for…for ah…” he trailed off shyly, continuing to look around the shop, as if looking to see if someone else was there…

But Sigrid was one step ahead of him. “A Rhubarb scone maybe?” she asked with a knowing smile.

“Well yeah…that…definitely,” he sputtered out with a smile; a flush starting to rise on his cheeks. “But I also have some company coming in from out of town today and was hoping to get a little bit of a variety,” he added. 

“Oh?  How many people are you expecting?” she asked, trying without seeming too obvious to glean who it was he was expecting. 

“Just two…well maybe one and a half,” he answered with a little chuckle.  “My brother and my nephew.  I’m not even sure what they like to be honest.” 

“And how old is this nephew?”

“Pretty sure he’s almost 6,” was Kili’s reply.

“Ah, then if he’s anything like _my_ nephews, I’ll make sure to include something disgustingly sweet with sprinkles for him.”

“Thanks Sigrid, I really appreciate it.” 

“So your brother is coming home for a visit, hmm? Gosh, I can’t remember the last time I saw Fili.  I hope he’s well,” Sigrid said as she gathered up his order. 

“Yeah, he hasn’t been home in more than ten years.  It’s going to be good to have him back for a bit.” 

“Long vacation or quick visit?” she continued making idle conversation while she bustled around the little shop.  

“Not sure actually,” he said solemnly.  His face fell a little at that admission. 

“I’m sorry Ki, I don’t mean to pry.”  _Why wasn’t he sure how long his brother was staying?_ _Why hadn’t he mentioned any of this last night?_ She was curious, especially since this would be his brother’s only visit back since he had left all those years ago; but…it was rude to push. 

“Nah, no worries Sigrid.  But I’d love to introduce my nephew Frerin to Bain and Bard if Tilda and Sam wouldn’t mind? So he has someone around his own age to play with?”

“They’d love that and so would the boys!” she answered as she finished boxing his pastries and rang him out. 

“Great, so once they’re in and settled I’ll ah…I’ll bring them by.”

“Sounds good!”

Kili had turned around to leave, but before he reached the door, he paused, and turned around again; some sort of internal argument displayed on his face.   

“Sigrid?”

“Yeah Ki?”

“Can I ask you something?  And before you answer, know that I would never ask you to betray anyone’s trust or anything, ok?”

“Ok…” Sigrid was more than intrigued.  _Oh Valar!_ Was this happening? Was he actually going to ask about…?

"Sigrid, does Tau…does Tauriel…does she…does she ever…ugh…” and here he paused, his expression one of pain, his hand rubbing the back of his neck; but after a moment he seemed to find his courage. “Does she ever mention me?” he finished in a rush, cheeks a very bright shade of deep pink. He looked so hopeful it hurt her heart. 

_Shit._

“Well…um…” and here, Sigrid stopped herself before she could say something that might be perhaps…too revealing of her friend’s feelings?  Kili must have misinterpreted her expression though, because before she could say anything else, he was waiving off his question like the answer really wasn’t that important.

"Yeah, no, it’s…ok…I shouldn’t have asked.  I’m sorry”

“No!  No…it’s…it’s alright…it’s just…Kili…you are a tricky subject where Tauriel is concerned.” 

With a quick glance his way, she continued:

“Listen, because I love her like a sister and you have been a friend for years and years now, I will tell you the exact same thing that I told her just last night; that somehow, you need to find the courage to go after what you want in life and most definitely _not_ waste what little, precious time has been given to you…   Because believe me Kili, I of all people know just how short time can be.”

He was thoughtful for a moment at her admission.  Then his gaze met hers. 

“You told her the same thing huh?” a small smile forming on his face. 

“Yep,” she replied and then quickly added, “And by the way Kili, without giving too much _more_ away here…do you honestly think that Rhubarb scones are a big enough seller where they warrant a place in the case every day?”  _Valar!  The look on his face!_

“Well, they are _really_ good…” he started in defensively. 

“Yeah…stop…I can tell you…they aren’t _that_ good,” she interrupted him curtly, but not unkindly, a small smirk playing on her lips.  “But seriously Kili…just…just _talk_ to her.”

“Yeah.  Yeah…you know what?  Maybe...maybe it’s time,” he said with conviction.  “Thanks Sigrid.  Thanks a lot.”  The smile he was wearing was so bright, he could have given Las Vegas a run for its money, Sigrid thought. 

“Anytime,” she replied with a genuine, full watt smile of her own.  “And don’t forget to let me know when you will be by with your nephew!  I’ll make sure Tils has the boys available.”  

“I will!” and then added more quietly, “Thanks again…for everything Sig.”  And then he left the shop. 

As Sigrid watched him drive down the road in the direction she knew Tauriel’s house to be, she felt both of her smiles; the one on her face and the one in her heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is following along and for leaving kudos and such wonderful comments! I hope you enjoyed the update :) And hang in there...one way or another sparks are gonna start flying for our girls and boys :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have contact!

Tauriel was up early; earlier than was usual for her anyway. It was early enough that she took her Aunt completely by surprise when she stumbled, bleary eyed, into the kitchen inquiring groggily about coffee.  When Ariel pointed out that her niece was headed to a caffeine and sugar nirvana for the day, Tauriel shrugged it off and mumbled something about not being able to get to the shop until later.  She saw the questioning look on her Aunt’s face; Ariel not having been made aware of anything different on Tauriel’s to-do list for the day. 

She still wasn’t one hundred percent sure what she was going to do, honestly; but after last night, after the debacle that was dinner, and her heart to heart with Sigrid about not wasting anymore time, she had decided that today would be the day for action.

“I…I’m meeting with a…a gardening consultant…this morning,” there…that technically was not a lie; he _was_ a farmer…sort of like gardening, just a much bigger scale was all.

She had stayed awake long into the night thinking of plausible reasons to visit Kili’s farm the next morning…just in case she chickened out about talking to him about her feelings. What she had come up with was rather lame; she had to admit it even to herself.   She had thought that perhaps, if worse came to worse, she could pretend like she was interested in starting a garden to support her little café with fresh, natural ingredients; it was plausible at least, _hell…maybe she should ask him about that anyway?_ The more she thought about it, the more the idea really did make sense. 

Her answer hadn’t been as slick as she could wish however, because her Aunt didn’t miss a beat.

“If you’re planning on taking Route 4 out to the Durinson farm, better allow a little extra time or go the back way. Edgewood Public Works still has the section closest to their place torn up for new sewer lines,” Ariel stated bluntly, thankfully not looking at Tauriel, who’s face had changed, involuntarily, to a violent shade of puce. 

In that moment, however, Tauriel realized something important; even though she was embarrassed, there was no feeling of wanting to deny what her aunt was saying. All of a sudden, she felt a strange sort of peace over what she was about to do, realizing that what she was truly embarrassed about was not her feelings for Kili, but her unwillingness to accept the truth for so long.  The lies she had told herself and others attempting to keep her heart whole were just that…lies.  All along, she had known deep down it would never be whole…it couldn’t be… _not without Kili_.  So, instead of her normal impulse to deny and evade, she just…let it go. 

“Thanks Aunty. I’ll let you know how I make out,” walking over to her Aunt and enveloping her in a tight hug.

 Ariel beamed at her niece. “You make sure you do that dear.  He’s been waiting a long time you know…” 

Tauriel’s cheeks still burned, but she managed to say what she felt “Thank you…for everything.”

“Oh my lovely, you are more than welcome. I’ve grown quite fond of you over the years you know…and would give much to see you happy,” Ariel replied, a little smile on her wrinkled face and a suspicious sheen in her eyes, “He’ll give you that…I’m certain my girl.”  Then she held Tauriel’s head between her hands and lowered the younger woman’s forehead to her lips.

 ***

“Deep breaths, deep breaths…” Kili kept reminding himself on the short ride over to Tauriel’s. He was doing this; today…no more waiting and wishing.  He still couldn’t negate the lead ball that had taken up residence in his stomach, however. 

Tauriel had always been so unobtainable, so…other worldly…to him that he still hadn’t wrapped his head around what he was about to do. The same old fears kept creeping into his resolve.  What if he wasn’t enough? What if Sigrid hadn’t been saying what Kili had thought she was saying? _But no_ …Sigrid had been almost painfully clear.  He smiled broadly at the remembrance of what she had said. _“Do you honestly think that Rhubarb scones are a big enough seller where they warrant a place in the case every day?”_ She had said it like it should have been obvious, like Kili was dense if he couldn’t see that Tauriel went out of her way to make sure the things that he liked were always in good supply at her little shop.  Well, in his defense, he truly had never thought of it like that before.   He, regretfully, did not spend a lot of time in town, and consequently visits to her café were not as frequent as he would have liked.  When he did stop in however, he never once stopped to think why the scones he loved the most were always the freshest and most bountiful in the case, because he was always so worried about running into the woman herself.   

As he pulled onto her street, Kili’s stomach was dancing some sort of a jig and he wasn’t fully aware of his surroundings, distracted by his musings as he was. As he pulled up in front of Tauriel’s house, he didn’t see the taillights on the classic, forest green Mustang that was backing down the driveway until it was too late. 

_Smash!!!_

“Shit!” he shouted, coming back to the moment. “Shit shit shit!” throwing his pick-up into park and hopping out to inspect the damage. As he walked around to the front of his truck, there she was; just the person he was there to see. 

“Tauriel! Ah…are you alright? I’m…I’m so…so sorry! I didn’t see you there…” he stumbled out an apology. 

“Kili?” Tauriel asked; the disbelief and confusion plain on her face.

“Again, I am…I’m just so…” he was flailing now, unable to find his words. All his built up courage leaking out like helium from a balloon; but Tauriel interrupted him before he could flounder further. 

“Kili…stop,” her cheeks were turning red and the flush was creeping all the way down her neck. “It’s alright…I didn’t see you either. I was…I was sort of in a hurry,” she said sheepishly. 

“Then let me move my truck out of your way! It doesn’t look like too much damage.  Just a busted taillight for you and a bit of a dent on my front bumper…” he rushed the words out, running a hand over his neck as he looked at the vehicles.    Before he could move back to his truck however, she stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“No, wait…please,” she asked, her face tight, like she was fighting to not smile.

 Kili could only nod as he glanced from where her hand rested on his shoulder, to her beautiful face.

 “Why…why are you here Kili?” she asked him, a little glint in her eye.

He didn’t reply right away. This was it; the moment of truth.  He was about to tell the woman he loved that he did indeed _love her_ ; that he had _always_ loved her.  What her response was would dictate the rest of his life.  He was very nervous now, that push had come to shove. 

“Well…if you’re in a hurry, it can wait,” was the reply he gave though, inwardly berating himself for such cowardice.

She seemed to take a deep breath and then squared her shoulders, like she was bracing for a fight. Instead, she moved her delicate hand slowly from his shoulder to brush across his face, and then cupped his jaw, her thumb brushing lightly over his cheek, forcing him to look at her. 

“Kili…I…I’m only in a hurry…because…well…I was on my way to see you.” The last words came out in a rush, tumbling over themselves in her haste to get them said.

He closed his eyes and without thought, leaned into her touch, placing his larger hand over hers to keep her there. “Tauriel,” he was just able to whisper.  He heard a little gasp and then opened his eyes to the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. His Goddess was smiling. No… _beaming…glowing even!_ At… _him!_ That starlight smile again.  The one he had hoped and prayed he would someday get to see again; and here it was, in all its glory, directed right at him. 

“Oh...Kili…” was her breathless reply. She moved closer then and as her arms wrapped around him and she buried her face in his neck, something inside him broke; a tension that had been there for so long he couldn’t remember the feeling of being without it.  He was overcome with utter joy and happiness. Returning her gesture, but upping the ante, he grabbed her forcefully around the middle and pulled her as close as physics would allow, brushing his nose against her collar bone, inhaling her lovely scent.  He couldn’t tell who was shaking more, as the two stood there in her driveway, sobbing quiet, happy tears into each other.  

 ***

Tauriel couldn’t believe this was happening. She was standing in the middle of her driveway, her car still backed into Kili’s truck; the two of them clinging to each other like they were adrift, alone on the ocean.  In that moment, they might as well have been; because the rest of the world simply ceased to exist for Tauriel. 

His arms felt like home; something no place had ever felt like for her. She knew she was where she belonged and couldn’t believe she had wasted so much time denying herself this feeling.  If she had been thinking clearly, she may have been frightened by how natural a thing it now seemed to move to face him and graze her lips ever so lightly across his.  But she wasn’t; and so the shock of what happened next wasn’t as intense as it might have been. 

Kili suddenly released his hold around her waist and took her face gently, in his hands. He brought her lips down to his slowly, giving her time to back away if she wished. _To hell with backing away now!_ Instead, she met him eagerly, her hands sliding from his hips, to wrap around his waist; their joyful tears intermingling, as they desperately, hungrily and heatedly, shared their very…first… kiss. 

***

From inside the house, Ariel heard the noise of the collision and rushed to the front picture window to see what had happened. What she saw took her breath away; her little Tauriel’s walls had finally crumbled and had allowed her heart to reveal itself.  As she dried the tears that had started to fall down her face at the site of Tauriel and Kili allowing themselves to love, she sent a grateful prayer of thanks to the Valar that the two were not too late.   Her heart swelled with warmth for her niece and young Kili and with a happy sigh, she went back to her needlework, content to leave the two to their own devices.      

***

As Fili drove down the main street of Edgewood, he couldn’t help being glad at how much the place really hadn’t changed. Erebor Hardware and Building Supply was still there, and one corner up the old Coldwell Creamery still stood sentry over the town green, across from Baggins’ Grocery.  A few of the businesses he had known were gone though.  The building that had housed Rohan & Gondor Clothiers was empty now; Kili had reported that a new mega mall had sprung up a few towns over a couple of years back. 

“So what do you think kiddo? Bit different than the big city huh?” he asked Frerin, who was turning in his seat, attempting to look everywhere all at once. 

“Yeah! It’s really pretty here!”

“It is son, it truly is. Hey, are you hungry? We haven’t eaten since dinner on the plane last night, and I think that’s the place Uncle Ki won’t stop raving about right there,” Fili had just noticed a new business that had not been there when he had last been in town. 

Tauriel’s Treats was a cute little store front café, complete with little bistro tables on the sidewalk and a display window done up to look like it came straight from Fairyland or some mystical Elven kingdom. When Fili pointed it out, Frerin nearly bounced out of the truck in his excitement. 

“Why don’t we stop and grab a bite and maybe some goodies to take to Uncle Ki, hmm?”

“Ok! But can I pick out what I want by myself?” Frerin asked with the same enthusiasm as someone seeing snow or the ocean for the first time. 

“Of course you can. You can get whatever you want buddy.”

He found a parking space and the two exited the Jeep; Fili stretching his stiff back and legs and Frerin doing the same in an adorable attempt to mimic his father. This trip was already working like it was supposed to.  He could tell that Frerin was starting to loosen up and enjoy himself; and that put a smile on Fili’s face more than anything else had in recent days. 

The chimes over the door tinkled as the two entered the little shop and Fili’s senses were immediately bombarded with the heavenly smells of freshly baked pastries and strong, aromatic coffee. His mouth started to water before he even got a look at the case near the counter. _Perhaps his brother had not been exaggerating after all._

Frerin immediately dashed to the display case, and Fili gently admonished him to not get fingerprints on the otherwise spotless glass.

“Oh! Please don’t trouble about it. It’s a sign we’re doing things right here if your fingers can’t wait to get around our pastries,” said a lovely voice, attached to an even lovelier young woman.  She was smiling at Frerin, leaning over the counter to see what the boy was eyeing.   Fili didn’t recognize her, but a long time had passed since he had been home; plenty of people would have come and gone, and plenty would have changed as they had all gotten older. _He was curious though…_

“So what can I get you gentlemen today?” the woman asked kindly, now looking at Fili. She was beautiful and he found himself a little breathless; it was an unfamiliar sensation.  

“Ah…what flavor of coffee would you recommend? We caught a red eye from the west coast last night and drove up from Boston this morning. I’m just about dead on my feet and I’m sure the little guy here could use a sugar rush,” he said conversationally. 

“Oh my gosh! Fili? Fili Durinson?!” the woman gushed. _Holy shit, did he know her?_ He was pretty sure he’d remember a gorgeous woman like her.

“Yeah…that’s me,” he replied cautiously, “have…have we met…?”

“I’m so sorry…it’s Sigrid! Sigrid Bowman…Bain’s younger sister?” Sigrid answered shyly. 

“Wow!” it came out before he could stop it. “Wow…Sigrid!  I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you!”

“Well, we’re all grown up now, so I wouldn’t have expected you to,” it was said sweetly, her face tinting the slightest shade of pink.

“We are…aren’t we?” he replied with a warm smile. “Is this your place?” gesturing around the little café.  

“Oh no! This is my friend Tauriel’s shop. Do you remember her at all? Tall redhead?  Funny accent? Moved to town the summer before you left…”

“Can’t say that I do, unfortunately; but my brother raves about this place.”

“I bet he does,” Sigrid replied with a knowing smirk; her eyebrow raised in amusement.

_What did that mean?_

“So what’s your name little man?” she said, now addressing Frerin.

Frerin glanced at his father and having received an encouraging nod, spoke to Sigrid. “Frerin Durinson,” he answered, bending himself into an awkward and uncoordinated little bow and then offering her his little hand, added “At your service!” Fili beamed with pride at his boy’s over the top manners and desire to emulate his father; for this was the way Fili always introduced himself to new people.  He stifled a chuckle and could see Sigrid attempting to do the same.  She caught his eye and the two shared a meaningful look. 

Sigrid, _Mahal bless her_ , came right around the counter and took Frerin’s offered hand in her own as she knelt down to be on his level.

“Sigrid Bowman…at yours,” she replied with a bright smile.

As the two shook hands, Frerin, in his youthful innocence blurted out “You’re really pretty,” and Fili watched as Sigrid’s face took on a few more layers of pink at her apple cheeks, feeling his own face heat slightly. It appeared that he and Frerin were even more similar than he had thought. 

“Aw…thank you sweetie!   And you are quite handsome yourself,” she said with a wink.  “Now,” she said, standing to her full height, “what can I get for you boys?”  But before she could make her way back around the counter, a thought seemed to come to her.

“Oh! I almost forgot!  Your brother was already in this morning and picked up some things he thought you two might like.  Did you want to pass for now and wait until you see what he bought? Although, come to think of it, he’s probably not home yet and might not be for some time, so if you’re hungry, you might not want to wait.”

“Oh? How do you know he won’t be home?” Fili asked, feeling his grin slip a little at her admission. He was surprisingly, slightly jealous at her seemingly intimate knowledge of his brother’s goings on.   _Was she the reason Kili loved this place so much?_ If that were the case, it really shouldn’t bother him; he was in no position to even be thinking about women and Kili and Sigrid might have some history he didn’t know about. 

“Let’s just say there may have been a…development…this morning,” she said cryptically, her smirk back in place.

 "I’ll take your word for it then…” he said, making sure his face didn’t betray his thoughts. “Frerin?”

The two then proceeded to order and Sigrid brought it over to their table once it was prepared. Fili thanked her and before she walked back around the counter, she placed her hand on his shoulder and met his eye as he looked up. 

“It’s really good to see you Fili, and it’s been lovely meeting you Frerin,” her eyes were sparkling as she smiled at the both of them and then, just like that, something warm started building up in Fili’s chest and butterflies like he hadn’t felt in years, took up residence in his gut.

_Oh yes…Fili was in trouble…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I had this written two weeks ago, but it needed polishing. You guys are too awesome for me to post anything I feel wont hold up! Hope its enjoyable! :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The feels are in the building! Some angst, some tears, some kisses and lots of hugs!

Kili still couldn’t believe this all wasn’t just some dream. After he and Tauriel had finally, reluctantly, let go of one another back at her house, they put Tauriel’s car back into its spot in the driveway and had hopped into his truck and driven down to the cove.  They had been sitting side by side on the sea wall, watching the gulls dive down into and then back up out of the ocean, their hands firmly linked, for about an hour before either of them spoke.  Once again, it was Tauriel who spoke first. 

“Kili, I can’t believe all the time I’ve wasted. I just wasn’t sure how I felt, and then I couldn’t be sure of what _you_ felt, and then I felt like I had waited too long, and then…ugh… _I don’t know_.  I guess I always kept you at a distance because I knew you were different; that you wouldn’t be just some crush, or a temporary thing.”  Here, she paused, her eyes meeting his. “I was scared I guess…which is very hard for me to admit.  I didn’t want to love…or more specifically, be bound by love.  My…my parents’ situation was never the best, and when it was bad, it was _really_ bad,” she said quietly.  “My dad left my mom and me when I was little and when he started a new family, I…I never heard from him again.  Do you know what a number that did on my mother? On me?”

Kili removed his hand from hers and draped his arm over her shoulder, pulling her close into him and just listened. She obviously needed to get this out and he was determined to be her rock; there were some things that he needed to say as well, but his turn would come. 

“I just felt like if I could pretend I didn’t feel anything for you, then I couldn’t be hurt. What a load that turned out to be though, because denying my feelings may have cost me the very lifetime of happiness I was so desperately trying to protect.”

“I know I have terrible timing. I know you are leaving; I just didn’t want you to go without knowing…” and here she trailed off. 

“Knowing what Tauriel?” he asked cautiously after she had been quiet for a long moment.

“That…that I…,” she faltered, but then in an instant, the steel was back in her voice. “That I love you Kili. That I have always loved you and if at all possible…I would like very much to see where we could take this…please…please don’t leave me.”  She ended so quietly, almost a whisper really, and Kili wasn’t certain he had heard her.  But he saw that her eyes had welled up at the admission and it was all Kili could do not to join her. 

He lifted her chin so that their eyes met once again. _This was it…he had to tell her the truth_.  He took strength from her wonderful confession and realized that he no longer had anything to fear.  She had said it as plain as day…she was his if he wanted… _and oh how he wanted!_

“Tauriel, I need you to listen to _me_ now and hear what I am saying…” he began gently.  “I am just as guilty as you are for letting time get away from us.  I was so afraid to talk to you that I wouldn’t even come in to town some days!  You are the most beautiful person I have ever known, inside and out and I am tired of admiring you only from a distance.  You are strong, brave and loyal and I…I have loved you from the moment I set eyes on you.  More than _anything_ I want to be with you if you’ll have me, and I can promise you that I will never, ever willingly part from you.  Even death wouldn’t stop me from haunting you!” he added to lighten the mood a little.  All these emotions were seriously heavy.  

At this, she gave a little chuckle but her tears began to fall in earnest even though she was smiling, so he pulled her into him again.

“Kili I was so afraid we were too late. I was so afraid I had lost you forever.”

“Nah,” he said nonchalantly. “We were meant to be together, I think, which is maybe why we were always so cautious around one another.  It’s forever for you and me, so it was natural we took our time getting here, right?”

“I don’t want to waste a single minute more,” she said, and then, as if to defend her argument further, she placed her lips to his to deliver a kiss with more passion than the two had yet to experience together. “Can we go to your place?” she asked shyly and a little breathlessly. 

“Of cour…SHIT! My house!” he smacked his forehead in annoyance. “I am so sorry Tauriel, but my place is out for anything… _exciting_.” He couldn’t _believe_ he had to say _no_!   “My brother and nephew are due in from out of town this morning.” At that, he looked at his watch, groaned and made to smack his forehead again, but Tauriel reached out and stopped him. 

“It’s ok…we’ll have the rest of our lives right?” she was smiling now, the tears having stopped all together.

 “Yeah…the rest of our lives,” he replied, Cheshire grin firmly in place. “So…you wanna meet your future brother?” he asked her coyly.    

 ***

Sigrid watched surreptitiously as the only two customers in the café ate their treats. She hadn’t spoken to Fili Durinson in almost fifteen years; since the deaths of her brother and parents.  It had been so long, in fact, that he hadn’t recognized her.  His presence brought back memories of things she hadn’t thought of in a long time.  He was a living, breathing reminder of her lost brother.    

Bain and Fili had been in the same year at school and had been close friends growing up. In fact, Fili used to come to their house so often to hang out that her Da would joke they were going to write Fili off as a deduction on their taxes.  After the accident though, she had only ever seen him in passing.  Back then, a five year age gap was harder to bridge than it was now, at their current ages; Sigrid had only been ten at the time and Fili, fifteen.  After his own father had passed three years later, Fili had left never to return; until today. 

She knew that he was married; Kili had mentioned the wedding when it had taken place years ago.  Apparently he’d married some girl he had met in college; although she noticed he wasn't wearing a ring.  Sigrid also knew that he had gone to law school and had earned a top placement at some posh firm.  As of today, she knew he had a son… _who was totally adorable by the way;_ and chuckled inwardly to herself as she observed them. 

Sigrid noticed that Fili kept stealing glances her way, but only when he thought she wasn’t looking.   It unnerved her a little, the way he looked at her; appraising almost.  But that couldn’t be right; she was certain she was reading him wrong.  It must just be the surprise of learning who she was. 

After a little while, and a few customers later, she saw that Fili and Frerin had finished eating and were making their way over to her at the counter.

“Thanks again Sigrid, everything was delicious,” Fili offered sincerely. He looked a little wary before he added “I um…don’t suppose you’d tell me what’s going on with my brother?”  His concern was endearing.  But it wasn’t endearing enough…

“You’re more than welcome, but I’m sorry Fili, you suppose correctly,” she said lightly. “If Kili hasn’t mentioned anything to you, I think it best to speak with him.  I wouldn’t worry though; if he’s not home when you get there, trust he’s in good hands.”  She added a little wink to try and put him more at ease.  It seemed to work a little because something like recognition flashed in his beautiful blue eyes ( _something Sigrid absolutely did not notice…_ ) and a ghost of a smile appeared on his face. 

As they turned to leave, she remembered something else she and Kili had discussed. “Fili, before you go, I forgot to mention it earlier but my sister Tilda has two boys and Frerin looks to be right around their ages.  Edgewood can be pretty boring, as you’re well aware, so if he’s looking to burn off some of the sugar he’s bound to ingest while you’re visiting, let me know and I can make introductions if you like. Kili knows how to reach me.”

At this, Frerin perked right up and immediately began peppering Sigrid with questions about her nephews. She answered his questions and allowed the affection she was starting to feel for the boy color her voice.  When she looked back up at Fili, she saw that same appraising look in his eyes again.  She felt her cheeks color under his gaze.

“Sigrid…that…that would be really amazing,” he said, genuinely appreciative of the offer. “I had no idea Tilda had a family!  You must think it incredibly rude of me not to have asked after your family,” he said sheepishly. 

“Fili please, don’t worry about it. You didn’t even know it was me when you first walked in,” she said, brushing off his concern.  “But yeah, Tilda married Sam Coldwell right after high school.  His parent’s used to own the creamery, remember?    Their son Bard was born less than a year later and little Bain came along a little less than a year and a half after that.” 

“Wow! They didn’t waste any time I see.  Good for them.  Time is one thing that should never be wasted,” he said, not knowing the nerve he had struck inside Sigrid with his statement. 

“What about you then?  Family? Kids?” he asked, a smile growing on his face. 

She felt her face heat again. Something like panic making its way into her thoughts.  She hadn’t expected him to ask that.  She had never had to answer these types of questions before…everyone in town knew her story; _but not Fili_.  It was painfully obvious he had no idea what had happened to her. 

“Um…no, nothing like that for me,” she said, hoping to mask the sound of sadness from her voice. “I look after my gram; she’s getting older and needs someone around to help take care of things, so I stay with her. Tilda’s boys keep me on my toes and I work here, like, all the time, so…” she knew she was rambling, but she couldn’t help it.  Whenever someone brought up anything even remotely related to Finn, her mind would instantly clutter, get all jumbled, so she could barely think straight. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you…” he began. _Shit…well, her attempts at nonchalance were clearly a fail…_

“No…no! It’s…ok. It’s just…” and here she paused. Was she ready to discuss this with a stranger? _But Fili wasn’t really a stranger was he?_ Technically, she had known him all her life; he used to spend entire weekends at her house for crying out loud! 

All of a sudden, she saw before her the same little shit who had hidden a frog under her pillow one night to scare her; but who had spent the remainder of that very same night apologizing profusely to her with an arm around her as she cried into his shoulder because she had been so scared by the reptile that had jumped out at her before bed. A small smile formed at that thought; but, she reminded herself…everything was different now. So much time had passed; she was different…he was different…

“There was…someone,” she said quietly. “He left too soon,” she added quickly before she lost her nerve, lowering her eyes to the counter.  

“Sigrid…I…I’m so sorry. I don’t know what else to say.  That’s…wow…that’s terrible.” Fili said, and his face was filled with genuine sympathy. 

Before she could say anything else, she felt arms around her waist and looked to see Frerin wrapped around her middle, looking up at her with eyes just like his father’s. She froze as those eyes cut right through to her heart. 

“It’s sad when people we love leave,” he said in his little voice, and then showing a maturity beyond his tender years, added “my mama left us and we don’t know when she’ll be back. I’m still real sad, but Dad says it’s ok to be sad and that we’ll be ok because we still have each other.” He smiled up at her then. 

Sigrid embraced him back and kissed his little head before looking to Fili, who was also shocked into stillness. She saw the same water forming in his eyes that she felt in her own.   She then watched as a single tear slid slowly down Fili’s cheek and she knew then what must have happened.  She knew why they were in Edgewood; why Fili wasn’t wearing a wedding ring. 

She hadn’t taken off her engagement ring for more than a year after Finn had died; it just hadn’t felt right. But Fili’s wife hadn’t died; _she had left_.  Frerin had mistaken her meaning, but she understood his all the same. _How could anyone have left this beautiful and kind little boy_ , she asked herself; leaving a spouse was one thing, Sigrid knew, but leaving your child?  Sigrid had never met Fili’s wife, had never had any reason to think about her at all; but as she glanced back down at Frerin, she decided then and there that she didn’t want to.  She wasn’t certain she could be responsible for her actions around such a person. 

“And now, we have you and you have us, too. We all have each other.” Frerin said with a warm grin on his young face.  She smiled at his easy and natural empathy and then looked to Fili again. 

“Sorry he unloaded that on you…that’s the most I’ve heard him say in a while” he said apologetically. He was embarrassed, she could tell, as she watched him swiping his eyes with his shirtsleeve.  “It’s pretty recent, happened just a couple weeks ago.  Came here to sort of get away a bit.” 

“Fili, I…listen, it’s…ok. I get it…really,” she replied, rubbing a hand over Frerin’s head fondly.  With one last little squeeze, she let go of him and he walked back around the counter to his father, who swung an arm over his son’s shoulders, just like he had Sigrid’s all those many years ago. 

“I’m so sorry you’re going through the ringer right now,” she said sincerely, wiping at her own eyes with a napkin.   “I’ll definitely get in touch with my sister about having the boys get together.  He’s a doll Fili,” and here she recovered some of her smile and looked to Frerin, “You are right little man, I’ve got you and you’ve got me.  So promise me you’ll come back and have a snack with me again soon.  Next time, it’s on me, ok?”

Frerin lit up at the invitation and looked to his father.

“We’ll definitely be back kiddo,” but Fili’s bright eyes were looking right at Sigrid when he said it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, another chapter down! I'm hoping that the next chapter will find the gang all together :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the brothers are together again!

Tauriel was a ball of nervous energy. She had done it; she had been honest with Kili about _everything_.  She had finally admitted to him that she loved him…and the world hadn’t come to an abrupt, fiery end.  The complete opposite actually; he had confessed his feelings as well and it was as if all the planets had aligned themselves in the heavens in that moment. 

She found she was quite disappointed that they wouldn’t be able to share in any corporeal delights yet; however she was endlessly glad for him that his brother Fili and nephew Frerin would be home for a visit and vowed to wait patiently to have him all to herself.

Tauriel knew the brothers had rarely seen each other over the years; other than for Fili’s wedding and his son’s birth, Kili had told her that the two usually just spoke on the phone or texted. She herself didn’t have any siblings (other than those her father’s second marriage had produced; but they didn’t matter as she’d never met them), though Sigrid came damned close and she could imagine how difficult it had to have been for Kili not to have his best friend readily available when he needed him. 

Now, Kili (whom she rather pleasantly noted had been equally as disappointed as she at having to delay “getting to know one another better”), seemed over the moon for her to meet Fili; but Tauriel was a little apprehensive. What had Kili told his brother about her?  Would Fili think that she had tormented and cruelly teased his baby brother all these years?  Would he be happy for the two of them?  Kili had told her that Fili was going through a rough patch in his own marriage, so how would he view their decision to be together?  All these thoughts and more were swirling in Tauriel’s head as Kili pulled onto Main Street.   

As the two were passing her little shop, all of a sudden, Kili slammed on the brakes and Tauriel had to brace herself against the dashboard. They hadn’t discussed stopping at the café so Tauriel was a little taken aback by his apparent change of heart. 

“Holy shit!” Kili shouted.

“Kili?” she asked, a little shakily, hands still splayed out in front of her.  

“That’s Fili!” he said, pointing to a handsome man with blond hair standing next to a black Jeep, helping a young boy, who looked just like him hop up into the passenger’s side.

“We gotta stop!” he said excitedly.

 _Here we go_ Tauriel thought, her heart picking up its pace again.

“Fi?! Brother!” Kili yelled out the window.

“Kili! Is that you little brother?!” was the reply from the blond. _Fili_ , she reminded herself.  He was smiling broadly and she could see the resemblance to her Kili then; despite their difference in coloring. 

Kili pulled the pickup into a spot across the street and just barely dodged old Mrs. Bracegirdle in her 1975 Lincoln Continental, which the poor little thing could barely see over the steering wheel of, as he ran headlong across Main Street.

Tauriel left the truck more cautiously, thinking fondly that one accident for the day was enough.   She made her way across the street slowly, watching as the brothers embraced heartily, going so far as to knock their heads together, and then as the little boy was brought forward to be presented to his uncle, who promptly scooped the boy up from the ground into a big hug, ending with the lad resting on his hip.    She stopped a few paces away from them, a warm smile on her face, content to let them make their greetings to each other, when Kili turned to her and extended his hand in a silent invitation to join them. 

As she walked closer, he took her hand in his and smiled at her as brightly as she had ever seen the expression appear on his face.  

“Fi? This…is the love of my life. This is Tauriel.” Kili said bluntly, eyes glowing and cheeks pink.  Whatever Tauriel had been expecting, it wasn’t quite… _that._ “She’ll be your sister _very_ _soon_.”  She didn’t fail to notice the emphasis he placed on the last two words, nor did it get by her that he less than subtly had basically just announced, _to his brother of all people and who she was meeting for the very first time no less_ , that they were to be… _married_.

For his part, Fili appeared to be downright flabbergasted. His eyes went wide and he looked like he might want to contradict what his brother was saying, but he recovered himself and instead extended his hand for Tauriel to take. 

“Fili Durinson, at…at your service,” he stumbled out. “It’s a pleasure to meet you…Tau…Taurial?” His face was the picture of confusion. 

She freed her hand from Kili’s and offered it in greeting to Fili, as the younger brother corrected the older on her behalf. “It’s _Tauriel_ brother…E L,” Kili said. 

“My apologies…Tauriel. I truly meant no offense and please believe I still mean none when I say, I am a tad surprised to meet the “ _love of my brother’s life_ ”, considering…he’s never mentioned you,” which was clearly an understatement as he flashed his brother a hard look. 

“Brother! Don’t be rude!” Kili sounded scandalized.

Tauriel could tell that Fili truly _wasn’t_ being rude; that he was indeed just very shocked by Kili’s revelation. _So Kili had never mentioned her…_ She tried to put herself in Fili’s shoes and admitted that she would most likely feel the same. 

“I’m sorry again, then,” Fili said, slightly embarrassed. “I just feel at a little bit of a loss is all.  If Kili says that you are…what you are, then who am I to argue?  No one…I assure you.  And, I will add, I look forward to getting to know you better, Tauriel,” his smile was beginning to return; his grip on her hand tightening slightly in truer greeting. 

“It’s _my_ pleasure Fili, truly; and please don’t feel badly. I know very little of you either.” Tauriel replied with a small smirk of her own.  “Our situation…” and here she paused to share a look with Kili, “is…complicated.  But I can promise you, it is no sudden or hasty thing.”  Kili beamed at her and then wrapped his free arm around her waist, pulling her into him so he could kiss her cheek; Frerin, who was still sitting on his other hip, was looking not sure of what was happening.

Fili still looked a little flustered himself, but his eyes were kind as they took in her person and she noticed that his shoulders had visibly relaxed some at her admission.

“You’re accent? British?” he asked her curiously.

“Indeed! You’ve found me out,” she replied playfully.  “I moved to Edgewood just before you took your leave of it I believe.”

“Which would explain why we’ve never met,” he answered, nodding slightly; seeming to put something together in his head. “It still doesn’t explain why my sneak of a baby brother has never mentioned you before.”

“Oh! But I have Fi!  I mention her scones just about every time we talk, don’t I?  In fact, this is her place right here.” Kili’s jubilant smile returned as he craned his neck to look around Fili at the little store front.  Looking to Frerin then, Kili asked “Are you hungry? You guys want to grab a snack?”

“Actually brother, we just came from there,” Fili said, his own cheeks tinted slightly pink, Tauriel noticed. “Yet again Tauriel,” he said, turning to her.  “You have my most heartfelt apologies for not making the connection sooner.  I can honestly say that Kili did not exaggerate in any of his rhapsodizing on your skill with scones. He simply failed to mention the tiny, small, insignificant little detail that he was… _in love with you_.” Another glare was directed at Kili, but she could tell Fili’s heart wasn’t really in it and was definitely fighting off a smirk; Kili noticed and grinned even larger, himself.

“That is high praise indeed!” she answered. “But higher still would be Frerin’s good opinion?” Tauriel added, ducking her head to address the young boy for the first time.

At this, all eyes turned to young Frerin, and Kili, as if just remembering he was still holding his nephew, introduced him properly to Tauriel. The two shook hands and Frerin did his best to assure her that he had never had a better or larger cinnamon bun in all his life, complete with hand gestures to demonstrate exactly how large the specimen had been; as if Tauriel wasn’t already aware.  She was smitten with him in an instant.  She had never really been a huge fan of children, Bain and Bard being notable exceptions of course; but she immediately felt that she and Frerin would be fast friends.  She also found herself wondering if any children she and Kili might have would be like him…she hoped so. 

While Frerin had been detailing his enjoyment to her, she had noticed that a silent conversation had begun to play out between the brothers. She took that moment to offer them what privacy she could.

“Frerin, I assume you met Sigrid then?” she asked him.

“Oh yes! She was really nice!”

“Did she show you where we make the pastries? In the kitchen?”

“No!” his face filled with something like awe.

“I could show you if you’d like…” and before she could say more, he was scrambling from his uncle’s arms and reaching for her hand.

“Hey hey buddy! Careful or you’ll hurt Uncle Ki! And I’m sure Tauriel didn’t meant right now,” Fili chastised Frerin. 

“Actually, I did mean now, if that’s alright with you of course?” and here she looked meaningfully between Fili and Kili as she took Frerin’s hand.   Fili silently acknowledged her offer for what it was and nodded his assent.   She then bent down and very conspiratorially, yet loudly enough for both brothers to hear, whispered to Frerin “Come on, I’ll show you how we make the frosting.”  He all but pulled her towards the door then. 

***

Kili watched as Frerin led Tauriel into the café. He knew she had done it to give him a chance to speak with Fili alone.  Now that she was gone however, he missed her reassuring presence.  He hadn’t meant to drop this on Fili so suddenly, but things had just worked out this way and he had to level with his brother at some point anyway, so why _not_ now?

"How long?” Fili asked quietly once they were alone on the sidewalk.

“Since before you left,” Kili answered truthfully.

“Are you serious? Brother…all this time and you never…not once…mention something this…this important?!” his face fell as he spoke. Kili was immediately hit with a wave of guilt and could tell his brother felt betrayed by his lack of communication on such a delicate subject. 

“You had your own issues going on and really Fi…you…you haven’t really been…been around…brother. And besides…it’s complicated,” Kili looked away then. 

“Yes, Tauriel already mentioned that,” a look of weariness coloring his features. “I notice she’s very easy on the eyes by the way, and she seems very lovely, I’ll give you that. But really Ki…you’re going to marry this girl? How well do you really know her? _Mahal_ …does Ma know?” he asked, though not unkindly. 

“I haven’t actually asked her yet, but yes, I am going to. And Ma knows Tauriel. She’s good friends with her great aunt.  You remember her…Ariel Sylvan? I know you remember Grandma Rhea…Bain, Sigrid and Tilda’s gran, right? Well Ma got close with both of them after…after Dad and then…after you.”  

Kili saw it the moment all the remaining fight went out of his brother and he knew where to the draw the line.

“Listen, why don’t we talk more about this later yeah? I’ll ask Tauriel if I can meet up with her later tonight so we can get you and Frerin settled in at the house. Fi, I can’t believe how big he’s gotten!  I’ll just give Tauriel a ride back to her house and I’ll meet you two at home, alright?” He clapped a hand on Fili’s shoulder. “By the way, you ran into Sigrid in the café yeah?  What’d you think brother? All grown up, no?” he asked slyly, slipping his arm around Fili’s neck in an attempt to put him in a headlock. 

“Kili…” Fili growled low, pushing his brother away.

“No need for that big brother…no need. I was just making an observation is all,” he said conversationally, voice light and playful. 

“Your observation has been noted. Now drop it please?” Fili hissed. 

Kili did drop it then as the two made their way into the bakery to collect Frerin and Tauriel. Independent of Tauriel’s observations, Kili too had seen the blush appear on Fili’s face when admitting to having been in the café.  But unlike Tauriel, he knew what that alluded to.  No, no need to push his brother any further; he had gotten the response he had expected.  Fili hadn’t changed much it seemed…he had always had a soft spot for the middle Bowman kid and it seemed he still did… 

He wasn’t worried about his brother and Tauriel either. Kili had expected some resistance from Fili, certainly; but knew that he would eventually more than come around.  Especially once he truly got to know her; although he did feel that one hell of an apology was due to his brother in recompense for keeping this from him for so long. 

His mother, Kili was certain, would be thrilled. She had lived in Edgewood herself and knew what the gossips said of him and Tauriel.  She also knew her son better than almost anyone else and had never understood why he didn’t pursue her, often voicing her opinion that they would make a fine match. _No, there would be no problem there._

Out of all of them, Frerin, oddly enough, turned out to be the one true unknown; but seeing as he had readily gone with Tauriel, ( _actually, in truth, Frerin had commandeered her from him!_ ) he felt that that battle was over before it had ever begun.  He was glad that his family would welcome her.  She clearly needed more of that in her life. 

***

For the umpteenth time already that morning, Kili thanked Mahal for his good fortune as he watched his Goddess laughing with his beloved nephew as the two were attempting to clean frosting off of each other’s faces. Thankfully, he was the only one who noticed the look of abject longing and regret on his brother’s face as he, in turn, observed Sigrid giggling right along with the others.  His heart ached for his older sibling at the sight. 

He was glad that Fili had finally come home. His brother was suffering; as he had been since their father had died.  Kili had dealt with the loss in his own way, vowing to take care of their mother as best he could, and had been successful, at least as far as that.  But Fili…Fili had run away; as far away as he could get.  Kili could tell that Fili hadn’t yet exorcised all of his demons, and had probably added a few more to the pile with recent events being what they were,  but he hoped that now that he and Frerin were here, they could all work on moving forward; together… _as a family._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Fili am I right? :) But don't worry friends...I have good things in store for all our peeps! It might take a little more angst to get there, but we're making headway I promise! :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray! An update! If you're still reading, thanks for your patience! :)

After Tauriel and the Durinson boys had left the café, Sigrid was left alone with her thoughts.  It had been hard to speak of Finn to Fili. True, she hadn’t mentioned him by name, or gone into too much detail ( _and Valar bless him, Fili hadn’t pushed_ ) but it had still hurt her heart to discuss it. It had been two and a half years now and Sigrid was still haunted by her time with Finn.  She was starting to think that she would never be able to escape him. 

***

She and Finn had met at university and had had an instant connection. Sigrid and Tauriel had been there studying to be pastry chefs (Tauriel also taking on a second major in business management, having already decided to open up a shop of her own back home in Edgewood once they were done with school) and Finn had been there as a struggling graduate student, slowly working towards his Masters in Medieval Studies.  

The first time Sigrid saw him, she was doing work study at the student run bakery just off of campus and he had come in for “something sweet”, she remembered him saying.  All he had left with however, was her phone number and her promise that she would have dinner with him the following evening. That was all it had taken and the two had become almost inseparable. 

She remembered fondly that first dinner, how he had gone on and on about the Carolingian Renaissance for hours.  Sigrid couldn’t recall exactly what was said really, but she remembered the passion on his face when he spoke of the subjects he clearly held dear.  That passion was what she had fallen in love with.  He had been so full of life; almost overflowing with energy and curiosity for the past as well as the yet to come.   He was the most amazing person she had ever met.  It didn’t take long for Finn to become a permanent fixture in her life. 

He had won Tauriel over quite early and it had been her friend’s idea for them to ask him to move in with them after they had only been dating for about six months.  Tauriel had argued “it would save us all money and he practically lives here anyway”, but Sigrid had seen right through what she was trying to do.  Sigrid had levied a glare at her, but Tauriel had just smiled and dialed Finn’s number.  He’d moved in the following week and the rest, as they say, was history. 

After school had ended, there had been no question that Finn would be coming home to Edgewood with her.  Over the years they had been together, he had met all of the important people in her life: her gran, her sister and Sam and of course Tauriel.  Finn had accompanied her home on many holidays and had become a welcome addition to her family.  He had even endured a three hour ride home from school in the middle of a Nor’easter to make sure she could be there for Tilda when she gave birth to Bard.  He was just such a natural fit in her life. 

***

On their arrival in Edgewood, they had offered to get a place of their own, but her gran had refused to hear anything about that, saying that since Tilda and Sam and the children had found a lovely little house of their own not two streets over, the rambling house on Dale Drive was too quiet.  Rhea had also argued that it had always been Sigrid’s home and why should that change simply because they were adding Finn to the mix? So they had happily moved into Sigrid’s old room and life had been…well, life had been really good.  She went to work with Tauriel at the little café and Finn had gotten a job teaching history at the middle school.    Everything was finally working out and she was the happiest she’d been since before her world had crumbled at the deaths of her parents and brother. 

Sigrid smiled sadly at the recollections but then her pulse spiked and her face heated as she remembered the night Finn had proposed to her. 

It had been 4th of July, her favorite holiday, and they were down at the cove watching the fireworks with everyone else from town when out of the blue he had asked her to walk along the sea wall with him.  They went hand in hand along the cove and though the two could still see the fireworks, there were less people.  Soon, they had walked far enough where they were quite alone. 

“Sig,” Finn stopped walking and turned her to face him.  “You know you are the best thing to ever happen to me right?  That before you came along, I was just…just lost…right?”

Sigrid had just stood there, not really knowing how to reply.  Finn usually wore his emotions on his sleeve and so she was no stranger to how he felt.  He never failed to make her feel loved, but this type of admission didn’t happen every day. 

“Finn, I…I,” but words failed her.  He filled the gap quickly.

“Sigrid, I just mean that you found _me_ ; the me I’m supposed to be.  When we met, I was just going around in circles; school, work, lackluster friend scene.  You came into my life and it was like I could see in color again.  You were like these fireworks tonight!  It was your light that guided me home.” And here, he placed his hand over her heart. 

Sigrid had started to cry as his words flowed over her, but they weren’t from sadness.  She was completely overwhelmed and didn’t know what to say.  Finn didn’t look like he was waiting for a reply though, as he tugged her over to a bench along the walkway.  He sat her down and sat next to her, putting his arm around her shoulders. 

“I want you to be mine forever,” he whispered in her ear. “Would that be alright? Because there’s no one else I want to go through time with.”  She melted into him at those words and nodded into his neck.  He then produced a small box from somewhere, she had no idea where, and presented it to her. 

“Good.  That means you can have this then…” he said nervously.  She opened the box and her heart stopped.  Inside was the most perfect ring she had ever laid eyes on.  It wasn’t a diamond, _nothing trendy like that for them_ ; no, it was just a platinum band with an inlay of Abalone shell.  It shimmered with pinks and blues and greens and purples, depending on how the light hit it.  She loved it almost as much as the man who had just given it to her.  After he put it on her finger, she had kissed him desperately and after a little while spent wrapped in each other, the two had walked home the long way, returning to an empty house. Sigrid’s heart skipped a beat as she remembered just how they had taken advantage of the fact that her gran had been at Ariel and Tauriel’s, playing cards late into the evening.  That night had been so wonderful.  Neither of them knew that in just six shorts months, they would part forever. 

She found though, that no matter how sad her thoughts turned when she thought of Finn, she could not stop herself from being absolutely over the moon on behalf of her friend. 

What Tauriel had told her was simply amazing.  Her two thick headed friends had ultimately reached the ends of their tethers and had admitted to what everyone else had known for years and years now.  They had finally confessed their feelings for one another and agreed that they wanted to be together.  Based on what Tauriel said they discussed, Sigrid expected a marriage proposal for her friend any minute now; and why not?  For what reasons should they wait?  There was no familial opposition, both were gainfully employed, they _deeply_ loved one another and had for years on end now; Sigrid felt they had waited long enough.  She looked forward to acting surprised when the news finally came. 

Her thoughts then drifted to Fili and how he must be absolutely dizzy with the changes taking place all around him right now.  She remembered the nauseating, spinning head feeling as her world had come to a standstill, and yet somehow life continued on all around her, oblivious to the pain she was suffering.  She imagined that Fili was enduring something similar.  It was certainly far from pleasant and she knew that without the help of her friends and family, she wouldn’t have it as nearly together as she did (which really wasn’t saying much if she was being honest).  The situation with Kili and Tauriel was undoubtedly going to be taking up the lion’s share of Kili’s time, as it rightfully should, but Fili was going to need a strong shoulder.  She and he had been friends once, long ago as children and she vowed to honor that bond; she silently promised him that she would be there for him if he needed.  Someone had made the effort and taken the time to do so for her, and that was what made all the difference. 

At that moment, the chimes at the front door tinkled and a new customer needed Sigrid’s attention, so she put these swirling thoughts on the back burner and got back to work. 

***

Fili sat alone at the kitchen table in the home he had grown up in.  He noted that his brother hadn’t changed much around the place and Fili found it comforting.  It was approaching two o’clock in the morning, but he couldn’t sleep.  Once again, his brain was working overtime, thinking about all the events of the past month and the events that were yet to unfold a few hours from now when he was scheduled to meet with Coach Oakenshield about the open spot on the Athletics staff at Edgewood High.  _He really should be sleeping…_

Instead, he found himself wondering what Corrine was doing; who she was with, if she was happy.  He snorted bitterly at that thought.  Fili had never done anything except try and make Corrine happy and that had turned out to be the fail of the century.  He didn’t understand what he had done wrong and over the weeks since it happened, he had tried to play back every interaction between them from the past several years in some sort of morbid analysis. 

He had thought perhaps he had been neglecting her for his work; after all, it had always been a concern of his.  But no, she had always insisted he needed to put work first because that was what was going to allow all their dreams to come true; the dreams about moving to Europe (hers), owning a large and showy home (also hers), sending Frerin to the most exclusive of boarding schools ( _only_ hers).  Fili would have never sanctioned Frerin being sent away to boarding school and he remembered feeling confused and uncomfortable at the time that she would even suggest something so cold.  After he had protested that idea most vigorously, she never mentioned it again. 

Looking around him, and taking in his mother’s antique Wedgewood stove and the old, reliable, vintage Philco refrigerator, along with all the charming country kitsch that his mother had spent decades collecting and lovingly displaying, he couldn’t help the stab of guilt he felt when he thought of how long it had been since he had last been there.  That had been yet another compromise on his behalf.  His family had always been welcome at his and Corrine’s home in the city, but visits to Edgewood were out of the question.  The sleepy little town hadn’t been chic enough for Cor and she and Fili’s mother Dis had never really…hit it off…as it were.  He should have taken that as a sign from the start; his mother never had problems with anyone, yet Cor seemed to have issues with everyone.  

Fili realized in that moment just how much he had bargained away over the years he had spent with Corrine.  He barely had a relationship with Kili; he hadn’t even been aware that his baby brother was in love… _and for all these years!_   He hadn’t been there to help their mother with her grief through the long years since his father’s passing.  Was it any wonder that he himself still hadn’t healed from the death of his father?  He was now able to see clearly that he had simply replaced his father with Cor as the person he was trying to make proud.  All the approval that he had looked for from his father over the years had been transferred to her and he had been too blind to see that it was a task he was doomed to fail at.  She had never been happy, not even with the choice of restaurant on their very first date!  He laughed loudly at that memory.  Why had he even asked her for a second date?  _Ah the stupidity and misplaced lust of youth._

Still, he could not bring himself to regret everything.  If there had not been Cor, there would be no Frerin.  For such a gift, Fili would always be grateful and could therefore never hate the mother of his son.  True, he would never forgive her for what she had done to him, nor for what she was still doing to Frerin, but no…he could never _hate_ her.    He would give her whatever she wanted in the divorce; the money, the house, the cars, whatever she wanted, because she would be the loser in the end after all.  Because he was keeping his son with him; that was simply not negotiable.  He would do whatever it took to keep them together and give Frerin the childhood he deserved to have. 

Fili was roused from his musings by a low “Brother?” asked by a sleepy Kili from the kitchen doorway. 

“Kili…I’m sorry if I woke you,” he replied quietly.  No need to wake Frerin as well.

“Nah,” was the yawning reply.  “You can’t sleep?”

“What gave me away?” he asked sardonically, but without malice.  “Sorry, I’m cranky.  I must still be on left coast time eh?”

“No worries.  You’ll adjust.  Don’t you have some important meeting tomorrow?” and looking at the clock, he amended “I mean, later this morning?”

“Yeah, meeting with that Oakenshield guy about the coaching job at EHS.”

“Oh, you’ll love Coach Thorin.  Hell of a guy.  He was a quarterback himself back in the day and had a great collegiate career you know.  Took a squad of nobodies from zeros to heroes in one season; and they had been the team to beat at the Dol Goldur Dragon Bowl back in ‘76.  Don’t you remember Dad talking about that game like, all the time? I wasn’t even the athlete in the family and _I_ remember,” he chuckled.  “They lost famously by like 40 something points and the rumor was that Oakenshield had suffered some sort of breakdown and couldn’t play.  Well, no pro team would touch him after that.” 

Fili felt defensive for the man right away.  To think of the awful pain Oakenshield must have felt watching all his good work slip from his hands; and so publicly.  All those bowl games were televised after all.  Fili felt he may have had a breakdown himself faced with similar circumstances.  It certainly gave him a new perspective on his own situation. 

“He recovered after a while and spent some time coaching at the D2 level for some pretty decent schools, but he said he got tired of trying to, as he put it “teach older dogs new tricks”.  Said he wanted to reach them younger, before any bad habits had a chance to entrench and so he ended up here in Edgewood.”

“How do _you_ know so much about him?” Fili asked.

“Eh, he comes to the farmer’s market every Sunday,” Kili answered as he moved to put the kettle on the stove.  “Tea?” he asked, yawning again. “It’s Earl Greyhame.”

“Yeah…good…please, the stronger the better” Fili replied, new thoughts distracting his mind now.  Thorin Oakenshield was turning out to be more interesting than Fili had previously thought.  He sounded like a man that Fili wouldn’t mind working for. 

“Lemon or cream and sugar?” Kili asked. 

“Sugar, but no cream.  Thanks brother.”

“Of course,” Kili responded as he plopped himself down in a chair across from Fili, pushing a full mug and the sugar bowl at him.    

The clock now read quarter to five and with a hot mug of strong tea in front of him, Fili tried to distract himself from his anxiousness by questioning his brother about _his_ evening. 

“So, after you got us settled here at the Ponderosa, you went over to Tauriel’s yeah? How’d that go?” Fili asked, genuinely curious.  He had gone to bed before Kili had returned home and the two hadn’t really had a chance to discuss much.     

“Well, why don’t you ask her when she comes down this morning?  She was going to leave when we heard you out here, but I told her to go back to sleep,” was Kili’s flushed cheek answer. 

Fili was struck dumb.  _Tauriel had spent the night?_   _That didn’t take long,_ he thought bitterly; but then his kinder self prevailed.  Rationally, he knew it was perfectly acceptable; his brother had long been an adult and this was _Tauriel_ …the woman he had loved since he was 14 years old. _And_ …this was his brother’s home…no longer his.  Perhaps that was what niggled at him…the fact that this _wasn’t_ his home and no one needed consult him.  He was a guest here.  He had hoped to stay with his brother until he could get back on his feet, but he had also noticed the “For Sale” sign that had been on the front lawn yesterday when they had arrived and now with Tauriel here, would he and Frerin still be welcome?

“So she stayed the night.  Sounds like it went well then,” and he managed a smirk. 

“It did, but not in the way I am sure your dirty mind is imagining brother,” was Kili’s saucy reply.  “We had a late supper with her Aunt and I had several glasses of wine, toasting to my good fortune of course, and the two decided I was unfit to drive home.  Since it was too late to call you and tell you I would be staying there, Tauriel offered to drive me home.  It was after midnight when we got back and we fell asleep on my bed talking about the future,” he ended wistfully. 

“Speaking of which, why is there a “For Sale” sign out front?” he asked. 

“Well, I’ve been having a pretty tough few years to be honest.  When I went organic, the cost to make the changes needed was pretty substantial and so I dipped into my savings to get it done.  But then, it was a really dry growing season and water was in short supply and so crop yields weren’t as high as hoped for.  So I was looking at all my options.  Besides, up until about a day or so ago, I really had no reason to stay,” he smiled as he relayed that last part of his statement.  

Fili felt terrible.  He had had no idea that Kili had been having financial struggles.  His question of ‘Why didn’t you call me?’ died on his lips, when he once again remembered what an absentee son and brother he had been in the last years.  Sure they had kept in touch by phone and through text, but always just to say hello, or chew the fat.  He realized, with regret, that all they ever discussed was what was happening in Fili’s life.  _How could he have been so selfish?_

“I’m truly sorry to hear that brother,” Fili said quietly, not sure what else he could offer to convey his remorse.  His eyes were stinging and he fought tooth and nail not to cry in front of Kili.  It was the last thing his brother would need right now; sitting here explaining his hardships, only to have to comfort Fili through another selfish breakdown. 

“It’s alright Fi, really.” And here, Kili placed a hand on his arm, rubbing his hand briskly back and forth in a comforting gesture.  “Tauriel convinced me that selling this place was a foolish idea.  But that perhaps I could rent the house out, while still working the land.  Just for a few years, until the place is solvent again.  She also offered to make my farm her exclusive supplier at the café.  Do you know that she’s secretly been buying Durinson Farm rhubarb for years? So the scones I love so dearly, actually begin life on this piece of land right here,” he said, pointing reverently to the floor. “Can’t lose that, am I right?” he asked humorously. 

A lightning bolt struck Fili’s brain at that exact moment. 

“Brother!  You said you’d rent out the house?  Well, if I get this job today?  _I’ll_ rent the house from you.  Me and Frerin!” he said excitedly. 

“Are you serious Fili?” Kili asked earnestly. “I couldn’t ask you to pay to live here,” he continued.

“Why not?  I have plenty of savings…assuming when Cor strikes, she doesn’t ask for it all…” he began.  “And, I was thinking about what I was going to do if we ended up staying in Edgewood.  I can't imagine Tauriel would be too happy to live with me and Frerin and who could blame her right?” he said, a hint of humor to his tone.  “It sure as hell would be a bit awkward for you with us around, no?” he tapped his finger to the side of his nose as he spoke.  Kili chuckled in reply.  “But,” he went on, “you could stay here with us for as long as you need.  Until you and Tauriel find a place of your own or…whatever you want to do really. The boy and I would just be helping keep the family legacy safe.”

"You…you would do that?” Kili questioned breathlessly.

“Baby brother, I’ve been a shitty sibling and an even worse friend.  It would be my honor to look after the place for you.  Besides, you’ll still be here every day working and I get to help you out just by coming home!  It couldn’t get any easier.”

Kili stood up, walked around the table and pulled Fili to his feet.  He drew Fili’s forehead to his own and Fili saw a tear fall down his brother’s tanned cheek.  His own eyes began to sting again, but before either could draw attention to it, Kili pushed him away towards the stairs. 

“Go get your ass in the shower. You’ve got a job interview today big brother!”

And indeed he did.  He’d have to knock ‘em dead, too.  Fili found he was in much better spirits as he entered his and Frerin’s bathroom to get ready for his big day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now we're getting somewhere :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I’ve decided on a rating change… things are going to start heating up a bit going forward (but not so racy we’ll need an E), so I am upping it to M and just wanted to make note at the start of the new chapter so everyone still reading is aware. Thanks again for reading! 

It was early when Tauriel awoke, and she didn’t recognize where she was at first.  As she took in her surroundings and watched the riot of colors that were twinkling across the ceiling and walls, she happily remembered she was in Kili’s room; more specifically, she was in _Kili’s_ _bed_.   

Regrettably, nothing had happened between them the night before… _well, nothing more than a serious bit of kissing and snuggling,_ she remembered with a smile; Kili had been slightly intoxicated from dinner and Tauriel felt she would rather their first true time together be an experience they would both clearly remember.  He had eventually agreed, so while he had initially tried his best to lead her into more risqué activities, she had fought tooth and nail to keep the evening as PG-13 as possible, and the two mostly had spoken about the future.  Her smile grew as she rolled over and buried her face in one of his pillows; _the future…their future…together!_

She rose from the bed slowly, stretching and yawning and wondered when last it was she had slept so soundly.  Tauriel hadn’t planned on spending the night and Kili had loaned her one of his t-shirts to sleep in, which was big on her; yet at the same time a bit short and did not cover her derriere as well as she would have liked.  Thankfully, she had taken care to put on a lacey bra and matching boy shorts as she had gotten ready the day before; _cute and sassy, but not trashy._    She would be lying if she said she hadn’t had him in mind when she had dressed; she had been on her way to see him after all.  She just never would have imagined she’d be waking up in his bed the next morning!  Tauriel wondered what Kili would say when he got a better look at them.  It had been dark in his room the night before when most of their clothes had come off, so they had really only gotten a little peek at each other.  _That’s going to have to change…and soon,_ she thought, mischievously. 

She made her way over to the bank of east facing windows and looked out on the cove in the distance.  The sun was on its way up and the light it was casting on the water was responsible for the prisms she had been watching dance all over Kili’s room. 

The Durinsons’ land was on a slightly higher elevation than the rest of the town and up on the third floor of the house as she was, she could see all the way out to the open ocean.   Below her, the farm’s fields spread out like a vibrant patchwork quilt and further along was the property line the Durinsons shared with the Erid Luin Dairy Farm.  Tauriel could see the cows grazing in the Dairy’s lower meadow. 

While she was thusly distracted, a pair of strong arms encircled her waist and warm lips grazed the nape of her neck.  She all but melted at the contact. 

“Good morning my love,” whispered Kili. “You are looking particularly delicious in my shirt and those sexy little shorts you know.”

“Good morning,” she replied, smiling and turning to face him, ears awash in crimson.  “I’m glad you approve.”

“Oh I more than approve…,’ he began, nuzzling her neck slightly with his lips. “I brought you some tea and toast,” he added, gesturing to the nightstand where he had placed a small tray. “Shit…do you even drink tea?” he asked, backing away and raising an eyebrow.  “I probably should know that,” he added sullenly.   

"Kili, don’t be silly! How could you know that? Stop fretting dear one…we have the rest of our lives to learn all the little intricacies of each other; starting now in fact.  To answer your question, I _am_ British, so assuming that I drink tea was a pretty fair guess.  And yes, I prefer it immensely over coffee actually.  Always black, no sugar, but sometimes lemon,” she said, brushing her lips against his in thanks for his thoughtfulness.  “And what of you?”

It took him a moment to answer her, because he had apparently become distracted, what with his hands slowly starting to slide from her waist down past her hips to her thighs.  She felt a tremor run through her body at his feather touch and he must have felt it too because a low little moan left his smiling lips and his hands tightened on her hips just above the band of her shorts, on his upstroke. 

“Ah…tea…I guess…but…Tauriel, is this really real?  Are you really here?” he questioned breathlessly, eyes half lidded. 

“I’m really here, love. And I’m afraid you’re stuck with me,” she giggled and placed her forehead against his. 

“Stuck with you hmm?” he asked; a glint in his eye.  “So you really wouldn’t mind that then? To be stuck with _me_ for the rest of your life?”

“I thought that was the deal, no? You and me, right?” she looked at him seriously now, afraid for a fraction of a second that perhaps this all was just a dream and she just hadn’t woken yet. 

“Of course! Always! Just making sure is all,” he said reassuringly.  “I was thinking though,” and here he stood on tiptoe to whisper more closely in her ear, “and this was something I don’t think we spoke of last night…but I…I hope perhaps it might be more than just _you and me_ someday.”  She could see the flush on his cheeks and felt her own redden at what he was implying and she tightened her hold around his shoulders to ground herself.    

“I’d like that very much,” she whispered back. “Very much indeed…and we can start practicing as soon as you would like,” she said boldly, pushing a stray strand of hair behind his ear as she spoke. 

“The sooner the better my Goddess,” and at that, he stole her lips for a fevered kiss, while his hands started to quest under her loose fitting t-shirt. 

***

Tauriel’s mind was absolutely spinning.  _Was it finally going to happen?_ She certainly wanted it to.  She could tell Kili most definitely wanted it to.  And there was nothing stopping them. 

Kili pulled his lips away then and the t-shirt was over her head in an instant.  On seeing her mostly naked form, his face betrayed a level of awe that embarrassed her.   Sure, he called her his Goddess, but now he was looking at her as if the title were more than just a term of endearment.

His touch on her body was hesitant; as if he was not quite sure he was allowed.  He cupped her breasts almost reverently and slowly rolled both of her nipples between his rough, work hardened fingers, making them rise to greet him.  She arched her back at the feeling, which pushed her chest further into his hands and his grip became firmer, more certain; which elicited an involuntary, pleased little gasp from her.  

“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known.  I cannot _believe_ I get to do this with you,” Kili said, his eyes alight; a look of pure wonder on his face.  He took her in greedily, as if she were a coveted and long desired Christmas present that he was finally allowed to unwrap. 

One of his hands then slowly left her breast to encircle her waist and he started to lead them backwards towards the bed.  When his legs hit the mattress, he fell back taking her down with him and she landed with her knees on either side of his hips, her sweet spot directly on top of his already hard and very noticeable erection.  The site of it through his boxers was enticing, but her mind had already moved on to getting him out of them.  He must have had the same thought because his hands were at the top band of her shorts, fingers already starting to push them down her hips.  Heat started to pool in her belly as she started to think of all that was about to happen.  _Finally! This was it!_   

Things were just starting to get really interesting, when a quick, sharp knock sounded on Kili’s bedroom door.  It surprised Kili so fully, that it caused him to lift his head so fast Tauriel didn’t have time to register anything but pain as he collided with her.  She reeled back for a moment, desperately trying not to swear at the sudden burst of agony.  He grabbed her wrists so she wouldn’t fall over and pulled her to his chest gently. 

“Are you alright?” he whispered softly, rubbing his own head where they had crashed together. 

Giggling softly and with the sting of tears temporarily clouding her vision, she nodded.  “Maybe you should see who’s at the door love,” she suggested.  _It figured_ ; just as they start to get somewhere the moment was ruined. 

“Yes, yes you’re right,” he sighed quietly.  “But Fili will pay for this someday!” he hissed as he got up and pulled his shorts back up fully. 

“Be kind Kili, he’s up against it right now,” she said empathetically, now rubbing her own tender forehead. 

“You are all that is good and lovely my Goddess.  But worry not,” and he bent to kiss her nose.  “I’ll go easy on him, I promise. Cross my heart.” And he made a gesture across his chest to emphasize the point. 

***

Kili strode to the stairs that lead down to his door purposefully, attempting and failing to adjust his now throbbing member to a more comfortable position.  He quickly opened it a crack, to spy Fili on the second floor landing, dressed and ready for his interview.   He looked good, Kili thought, and if he hadn’t been so aggravated by Fili’s interruption, he might have mentioned it to him.    

“Brother, I’m sorry to interrupt…whatever I may be interrupting” Fili began, a little flustered. “But yesterday you did say that you would watch Frer while I was out,” Fili said apologetically. 

"Ah, yes, I did brother,” Kili said, deflating a bit.  “Just…just give me a moment and I’ll be down,” he said, only slightly reluctantly.   He closed the door and went back up to Tauriel, his body having a terrible time attempting to calm down as she came back into his view.    

“My apologies again Goddess, but my brother is heading out and I have to go down to keep my nephew company,” he said as he leaned over to kiss her.  “Take your time, enjoy your tea and meet us in the kitchen when you are ready and I’ll make us a real breakfast.”   

“Oh I’ll just be a minute.  I want to wish Fili luck before he leaves! And besides, I only have about an hour before I’ll be ‘unacceptably late’ to work” she said humorously, already pulling on her jeans and shirt.  He was sorry to see her in so many clothes when only moments before he had been so close to having her completely out of them.   He vowed that the next time they were alone World War III breaking out wouldn’t stop them. 

***

It had been a long, sleepless night and Sigrid was feeling every minute of it.  Having tossed and turned endlessly, she had finally given up on the idea of sleep and made her way to the café even earlier than usual.  Having something to occupy her mind had seemed an absolute necessity but work was proving not to be enough of a distraction. 

Her thoughts had been a tempest from the moment she had been left to her own devices the day before.  Thinking about Finn always put her off kilter, and speaking of him to another man, even though it had only been Fili and they had known each other since childhood, had been slightly unnerving.  And thinking about Fili, well, that brought up a whole laundry list of things she hadn’t felt in a _long_ time. 

Perhaps it was because Fili had been the first since Finn had died to even remotely catch her eye.  He was certainly attractive with that golden hair and handsome smile.  _So why did she feel so guilty about it?_   She had every right to think what she wanted about whomever she wanted…didn’t she? Then why did it feel like every time she thought of Fili she was dishonoring Finn’s memory?  _But Finn wasn’t coming back;_ so it would be something she’d need to get over…or live with.  After all that had happened, she was still a woman...and she _did_ have needs.  What made things worse (or easier, she supposed, depending on how she looked at it), was that Fili wasn’t even ‘available’ at the moment and who knew what was going to happen with his marriage.  She certainly didn’t want to pursue something with someone who wouldn’t be able to or simply didn’t return her feelings.  But was she even ready to start something with someone new at all anyway?  It was all just so confusing… _hence her night of no sleep._

She had just made it back behind the counter from flipping the sign on the door to open, when the chimes sounded, indicating a customer had entered the café.  When she turned around, she saw none other than the current object of her mind’s distress, _Fili Durinson_. He was wearing a nicely tailored suit and looked even more handsome than he had the day prior.  _Valar!_ Sigrid felt her stomach dance a little jig at the sight of him and she had to turn her eyes away, lest they betray her current confused feelings. 

“Good morning,” he said, a genuine smile gracing his face. 

“Good morning Fili,” she responded more shyly than she would have liked; a small smile of her own fixed in place. “What brings you by so early?” 

“Well, I ah...I couldn’t really sleep. It was ah…it was strange being back on the farm, you know?  My brother really hasn’t changed much and the place still looks like it did when we were growing up.  It was comforting and a little surreal all at the same time,” he said as if he were admitting to some terrible secret.

“I certainly get that.  You poor thing though!  You must be exhausted,” she said sympathetically, knowing of his long journey the day prior, and busied herself getting a coffee cup ready for him, expecting that would be what he wanted. 

“Eh, I’m ok,’ he said, rubbing the back of his neck.  “Actually…if I can be honest with you, I’m a bit nervous,” he offered. “I have a job interview today. So yes, right idea with the coffee…black please.” 

“Seriously?  Are you thinking of moving home permanently then?” she asked before she could stop herself, hoping beyond all else that she was able to keep the excitement she suddenly felt at that prospect, out of her voice. 

“I am actually,” and here his face turned ever so slightly pink.  “As I’m sure you guessed from our conversation yesterday, my marriage is…is…all but over,” he stumbled, “there’s just paperwork now and I…I want a fresh start for me and my son.  So yeah, I have an interview today at the high school with Coach Oakenshield.  There’s an assistant coaching position open on the staff there at the moment.”

“Wow! Well, I…I didn’t want to push yesterday, but I figured that something wasn’t right, seeing the way Frerin was talking about his mom and all,” she admitted.  “But a job interview!  That’s great Fili!  Best of luck to you.  Truly!  It’d be great to have you back in Edgewood.  You’ve been missed you know,” she added knowingly, handing him the large black coffee she had poured for him. 

“I know,” he said, cheeks going pink again as his fingers lingered over hers for just a second past propriety as he took his coffee.  “I’ve been a terrible son…and a worse brother.  I’ll settle up with my mother soon I hope, but for now, my goal is to see Kili as happy as he can be,” he added seriously.   

“Well, I’d say he’s pretty happy at the moment!” Sigrid laughed.  She knew Kili had been to dinner at Tauriel’s the night before, having stopped there on her way home from work. 

“You have no idea…” Fili said cryptically as he sipped his coffee, but offered nothing more and Sigrid didn’t push.  She simply smiled in collusion with him. 

“What time is your interview?” she asked, changing the subject. She glanced at the clock and it read just past seven. 

“He said any time after eight he’d be in the office,” Fili answered.  “So I plan on being there for eight sharp.”

“I bet you’ll like Coach Thorin,” she said.   

“So I’ve been told.  My brother speaks very highly of him,” he replied. 

“He’s had an interesting life.  Wasn’t much of a talker at first, but he improves on further acquaintance.  He’s been really good for the community here.  The kids absolutely love him.  He volunteer coaches with the little ones on Saturday mornings and Tilda’s boys think he’s the second coming of the All Father,” she said fondly.  “She and Sam have gotten to know him pretty well.”

“Well, then I look forward to meeting him, seeing as he comes so highly recommended.  I only hope he thinks enough of me to give me a chance,” he said, and his shoulders slouched ever so slightly. 

“Just remember to be yourself Fili and I’m sure you’ll be just what he’s looking for,” she said reassuringly,  and then seeing through the window behind him just who was approaching the café added “and look sharp, because your interview might be about to start earlier than you expected!”

She watched as all the color drained from Fili’s face on hearing the door chimes and realizing what that meant.  Sigrid gave him her most encouraging smile and then welcomed the new customer:

“Good morning Coach Thorin!  Your usual today?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long! Thank you again to all who are still reading :) More to come!


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